Bram Tchaikovsky - Funland
#434
May 1981
Bram Tchaikovsky
Funland
Genre: Pop Synth-Wave
3.5 out of 5
Highlights:
Breaking Down the Walls of Heartache
Soul Surrender
Imagine having the audacity to name one’s self after one of the greatest composers of all time.
Of course I’m talking about Sebastian Bach.
Nah. It’s Bram! The only Bram I wanted to know about as a youth was the one who wrote Dracula (and whose name I laughingly confused with “Stroker”). I even eschewed the CBS sitcom, “Bram and Alice” because of that damned name. Don’t remember it? It was killed off quickly.
You know why?
No one and I mean NO ONE likes the name Bram.
Pretentious as hell that name.
Doubly so when you decide to give your surname moniker “Tchaikovsky”.
Needless to say I never dove in to this guy’s music.
Based on Funland, a sub-standard David Bowie wannabe meets any other pop group and I wasn’t missing much. This is so over-produced I would bet Steve Lillywhite had his hands on it.
Thing is, songs like “Shall We Dance” and “Breaking Down the Walls of Heartache” suggest that this could have been a great record. “I’m a carpenter of love and affection”? I could only wish to come close to half that lyric. I kind of love “Why Does My Mother Phone Me”, but…I feel like it’s just not quite there. Something’s wrong with this record. I want to love it but I find it impenetrable.
I can’t tell if it’s Bram or the production. But Bram produced it so…
It’s Bram.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyxtPR0xTk&list=PLCYP7R8Hq9ATqoBiKazYI5iSA643CZT8N
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