Reviewed by Rob Slater
Released: 1981 Curves Curves Genre: SoP (Soporific and/or Soft Pop) Rating: 3.33 out of 5 (whew - see note at bottom of review) Midlights (Highlights if you’re high?): Baby It's You Is It All Right Over The Line Curves by Curves - I like the album cover, and the music is great if you LOVE the BeeGees (when they didn’t really rock), Neil Diamond, Eddie Rabbitt, and Kenny Loggins. Many of the Curves band members went on to additional mediocrity and obscurity. It was challenging to find out about them, but the damn covers took me down a staggering, swirling vortex of rabbit holes (Herein referred to as Rabbi Tholes after I typoed Rabbit Hole, thought it was cute, and wondered if a thole was a thing. It’s actually two things. Thing One is that it’s usually a wooden pin for oars and other marine uses. Thing two, it means "endure" in Old Scots. So, if you’re an ancient Jewish Scotsman, it means Teacher Endure. I am a teacher, and I endured this album. Now you are enduring this teacher’s review.) The album opens with “Baby It's You/When You're Close To Me,” a COVER slash original. Cuz, when you put the pretty good, hooky pop song cover on the same track as your own mediocre-r song, it’s not really like starting off with someone else’s song, amiright? Rabbi Thole #1: “Baby It's You” was written by Chris Norman and Pete Spencer - one half of Smok(y)ie, a British band I’d only ever vaguely heard of with hits mostly written by Chinn & Chapman [Rabbi Thole #2: (Including “If You Think You Know How to Love Me”, seared into my lusty 12-year-old brain by Pat Benatar and Spider Giraldo)]. “Baby It’s You” is one of their songs NOT written by ChinniChap, and should not be confused with “BabE It's UP TO You,” also recorded by Smokie, but written by neither of the above. Reviewers note while reviewing the review: Rabbi Thole #3: Not only did ChinniChap write most of Smokie’s hits, but another ChinniChap song Smokie recorded was “Heat of the Night,” later to become the title track of the Benatar’s debut album which contained “If You Think You Know How to Love Me.” Also, I have a great falsetto from wanting to keep singing Pat Benatar songs after my voice changed. “I Can't Stop Loving You.” Cover. Rabbi Thole #4: Written by Alan Silson and Terry Uttley, the other half of Smokie. A mediocre 1970s hangover version of a decent song, not to be confused with the most excellent pop song of the same name. “Over The Line.” Cover. I liked this one despite (or because of?) the instrumentation. Written by Guidry/Setser/Seals. Rabbi Thole #5-6: Greg Guidry wrote a bunch of forgettable SoPo tunes for folks like Exile, Climax Blues Band, and Robbie Dupree. Eddie Setser & Troy Seals [Cousin of Jim Seals (of Seals and Crofts) and Dan Seals (of England Dan & John Ford Coley)] also wrote “Seven Spanish Angels.” “Is It All Right” - Probably my favorite track. Rabbi Thole #7: Did the band actually write this one? I actually woke up with it stuck in my head this AM. “One More Goodbye/How Many Times.” BeeGees much? Another COVER slash original. “One More Goodbye” is written by Gerard McMahon. Rabbi Thole #8: (AKA Gerard MacMann, singer/songwriter of “Cry Little Sister” from “Lost Boys,” aka Rabbi Thole #9.) “Lightning.” Rabbi Thole #10: This song IS Gloria, written by Umberto Tozzi, Trevor Veitch, and Giancarlo Bigazzi for Laura Branigan. SORRY for the ear worm. Maybe this will help. “Tell ya ‘bout my baby, well, ya know she comes around…” The following songs may have been good or bad, I’m not going back to check: Movin' On, The Time Is Right, Isn't It A Shame OKAY. I HAVE TO BE DONE. [I wrote this two edits ago!] SHEFF IS GOING TO SEND LOST LITTLE SISTER SONGWRITERS’ SOULS THROUGH THE ETHER TO STEAL MY SMILING SLUMBERTIME!!! Leaving you with my comments on TWO reviews of the band: 1. “recorddigger - Slick Pop Rock AORsters Southern CA outfit with slickly produced catchy pop rock coupled with AOR and commercial FM radio intentions.” ~ Rob: Slick Pop Rock. Would that be Slop Rock? 2. “tonissive - very unknow but fantastic band of aor-pop” ~ Rob: If only I could unknow them and get my 3 hours of following Alice down to Dunderland. On further reflection, I don’t want to unknow them. Concerning the rating of this musical extravaganza: My first response was I CAN’T DECIDE out of 5. Between 2.5 & 3.5? Worth listening to if you listened to Afternoon Delight become #1 on the Top 100 songs of 1976 and loved it. Rabbi Thole #11: Bill Danoff wrote that song and co-wrote another of my favorite songs of the 70s,“Country Roads, Take Me Home!”
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