The 1981 Listening Post - Bram Tchaikovsky - Funland

 Bram Tchaikovsky - Funland

#434

May 1981

Bram Tchaikovsky

Funland

Genre: Pop Synth-Wave

3.5 out of 5

Highlights:

Breaking Down the Walls of Heartache

Soul Surrender

Imagine having the audacity to name one’s self after one of the greatest composers of all time.

Of course I’m talking about Sebastian Bach.

Nah. It’s Bram! The only Bram I wanted to know about as a youth was the one who wrote Dracula (and whose name I laughingly confused with “Stroker”). I even eschewed the CBS sitcom, “Bram and Alice” because of that damned name. Don’t remember it? It was killed off quickly.

You know why?

No one and I mean NO ONE likes the name Bram.

Pretentious as hell that name. 

Doubly so when you decide to give your surname moniker “Tchaikovsky”.

Needless to say I never dove in to this guy’s music. 

Based on Funland, a sub-standard David Bowie wannabe meets any other pop group and I wasn’t missing much. This is so over-produced I would bet Steve Lillywhite had his hands on it.

Thing is, songs like “Shall We Dance” and “Breaking Down the Walls of Heartache” suggest that this could have been a great record. “I’m a carpenter of love and affection”? I could only wish to come close to half that lyric. I kind of love “Why Does My Mother Phone Me”, but…I feel like it’s just not quite there. Something’s wrong with this record. I want to love it but I find it impenetrable. 

I can’t tell if it’s Bram or the production. But Bram produced it so…

It’s Bram.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyxtPR0xTk&list=PLCYP7R8Hq9ATqoBiKazYI5iSA643CZT8N

The 1980 Listening Post - Bram Tchaikovsky - Pressure

 Bram Tchaikovsky - Pressure

1980 Housekeeping LISTENING POST ADMIN DISCOVERY

Bram Tchaikovsky

Pressure (AKA The Russians Are Coming)

Genre: Power Pop/Rock

4.25 out of 5

Highlights:

Let’s Dance

Heartache

Pressure

Mr. President

I’ve said it before but for anyone new: Bram’s was the name you saw in every New Wave magazine but never heard. The sheer pretentiousness of the name was enough to either make you decide you had to investigate further or eschew him completely.

I chose the latter.

The beefiness of this record was unexpected. Think Graham Parker but with a heavier rhythm section and a lot of cojones. “Heartache” is the song Rivers Cuomo has been trying to write for decades. Bram was there first and no one can convince me that Rivers doesn’t own every one of his records.

There’s a lot to process one this record but, sadly, everything disappears into nothingness and then, before you know it, you are on to the next tune. But I loved the psychosis of “Mr. President” and “New York Paranoia”. I think all the songs need better production and a lot less studio drug taking. But, it’s a neat little record. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPFa4xnnNik