Nazareth - Malice in Wonderland
#86
Reviewed by Sheffield Chastain
February 15 1980
Nazareth
Malice in Wonderland
Genre: Holy Land Hard Rock!
Allen’s Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Sheffield’s rating: 4.25 out of 5
Highlights:
Holiday
Shadow at the Border
Talkin’ to One of the Boys
I grew up in Texas, which meant I was an adherent of the Southern Baptist Church. My family was pretty heavy into the Southern Baptist Church. I had Sunday school every Sunday morning (for the kids), followed by the main church service, and then bible study on Wednesdays that my mother dragged me to. Which is a long way of saying Nazareth scared the shit out of me. Not as much as Ozzy Osbourne, but pretty fucking scary.
I mean, the gall, right? Calling yourself Nazareth and playing the devil’s music? And actually singing “bitch” in your biggest hit!?
Anyway, one of my first jobs as a young kid ever was going door to door for Paul’s Lawn Service, hawking Paul’s lawn products - which was mainly aerating people’s lawns. A bunch of kids would pile into Paul’s pick-up truck every Saturday morning and he’d drop us around various neighborhoods and we’d go door to door and try to get the gentlemen of the houses to buy Paul’s Lawn Products, of which we’d get a cut, and have Paul come to their houses and put little tiny holes in their lawns so the grass would grow better.
Anyway, one of “Paul’s Kids” was a bit older and was an absolute hound for Ozzy Osbourne. And his second favorite band was Nazareth. He scared the shit out of me. He always had a Nazareth T-shirt on under his puke green Paul’s Lawn Service shirt. One day, while crossing through an apartment complex to get to the next set of houses, he picked me up (he was twice my size), asked me if I knew how to swim, and promptly threw me into the apartment complex pool. Just for fun, and to see if I could swim. Fuck you Nazareth!
The devil’s music made him do it.
Anyway, I saw Ozzy live a few years later and had the time of my life. And I also left the Baptist church. The two occurrences are not related.
Nazareth is a very good band. And they don’t have anything to do with the devil. Or Jesus. They just like to rock. Of course I know that now.
Anyway, the first 4 songs of Malice in Wonderland are first rate. You’ll recognize the opening strains of the first track, and the hit of the album, Holiday. Great tune - cool lyrics:
Mama, mama, please no more jaguars (sung as 3 syllables!!)
I don't want to be a pop star
Mama, mama, please no more deckhands
I don't want to be a sailor man
Mama, mama, please no more facelifts
I just don't know which one you is
Mama, mama, please no more husbands, I don't know who my daddy is
I mean shit - “I don’t know who my daddy is”. Damn.
Showdown at the Border is the track of the album, IMHO.
After those first 4, the 5th song (Fast Cars) kicks in and out comes the xylophone. Yeah, that’s a half-hard no for me. Now, it’s only a half-hard no, and not a full-on no, because the full on hard no is reserved for the fucking piccolo. But a xylophone has no business on a hard rock album. And just to be clear, fuck the piccolo (I’m looking at you Jethro).
Once your past the ridiculous xylophone song, there are a few other solid tracks as well - Big Boy, featuring a great hook and Dan McCafferty’s growling vocals. Fallen Angel, a pretty sweet ballad, featuring Dan McCafferty’s awesome growling vocals. And Turning a New Leaf, with some sweet guitar licks and some sweet, sweet growling Dan McCafferty vocals.
Dan McCafferty is the bomb.
I’d venture that the hard core Nazareth fans put this album around the middle, or a little better, of the 20 album output of the boys from Scotland. (That’s right, 20 albums over 50 years - sweet Jesus!) It’s not super heavy, it’s not Hair of the Dog, but it’s not that mid 80’s pop crap they tried to sell us. A solid 4.25 from me.
Swear to Jesus.
https://open.spotify.com/album/7pmwDMAGDHREkkoWNA2rD0?si=EaLq1pxiRxq76ktey24WFA
