Transform this.

I'm being lazy here but I have just endured two of the worst movies I have ever seen and one of them is the biggest blockbuster of the summer. I hated Transformers (the other was the dreadful excrement Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer). But I couldn't put into words just how much I thought this movie was bad for our collective moviegoing soul.
Fortunately, Bemis at http://cinevistaramascope.blogspot.com could and did and I have to put his closing paragraph here because it is dead on.

"It's hateful, materialistic crap, keeping the sales-pitch cynicism of the original cartoon minus the endearing kitsch. True, the writers try to bracket everything in wink-wink sarcasm, making this crap that knows it is crap. The effects are flawless but pointless, as Transformers is never remotely fun . Try to defend it as meant for kids and I'll ask you to recall the indefensible dreck we liked as kids; try to defend it as shut-your-brain-off fodder and I'll ask why I should shut my brain off; defend it at all and I'll remind you of the scene where a robot pisses on Barton Fink. The Number 23 and Vacancy are bad, but Transformers is actually dangerous, its massive success paving the way for another decade of Bay's Teutonic brand of anti-art. The biggest question, then, is who Michael Bay hates more - us or himself."

Truly. A robot pissing on Turturro. How much fucking money are they paying these guys these days?

My very first acting job

This is the job that launched a career. Shot in 1988, the director was Lawrence Bridges, consequently the only commercial director that I have remained good friends with to this day.
Note the editing style, Larry was the creator of the herky jerky cutting, copied by many after this spot ( and it's sequel the following year).
It's been almost 20 years. I can't believe I am still doing this for a living. I have truly been blessed.
Thanks, Lar.

Some thoughts about the Strike (writers)

Okay. Here's a few thoughts.

1. The amount the writers are asking for does not come close to the amount that will be lost during this strike. It won't even come near that amount in 20 years.

2. The amount the writers are asking for does not equal the salary of a CEO.

3. The producers and studios WANT this strike. After a certain amount of time they can (and will) negate all contracts. Directors, writers, ADs, assistants. This strike represents a reboot for the studios. That will save them millions.

The studios will give the writers something for the Internet. They have to, they are not stupid. But they will save a lot of money by letting this action play itself out. everyone will be hired back. Perhaps at slightly lower wages and a lot of waste will be terminated.

But, the issue I take umbrage with is the sentiment that because of the strike the union is causing the layoffs of many below the line players.
That's fine because it is, in a sense, true.
What I have a problem with is that no one seems to ahve a problem when the networks cancel the shows rendering the same result.

Story: I have a friend who was on Drake and Josh. He had a good job. They ran for 4 years. Then they were cancelled and EVERYONE was unemployed. But, here's the thing: Drake and Josh didn't need to be cancelled. It's still the top show on cable. So, why end a popular show at it's height? because the target demographic is tweeners who are no longer interested in the show after they get past, say, 14. There is a new crop of 10 year olds every year for whom the show is new.

When Nick cancelled the show they laid off dozens of employees. No one bitches about that. And they should.

Not The Daily Show, With Some Writer

As it comes in I will try to put strike related info on this blog.
I know, I'm not much of a diligent blogger, but less is more, right?
Anywho, if you still read Septenary and you are a Daily Show viewer, you will enjoy this.

Why is there a (writer's) strike?

Support the writers!

Sign the Petition
http://www.petitiononline.com/WGA/petition.html



Thanks to Kristen at Slate Your Name for the heads up.

Snapshot: Los Angeles

In an elevator somewhere in mid town:

The Great Fall TV Season Overview

No Frills. Not links. No Pics. Nada. Just the overview on this fall's shows. Not the worst season of television, but most definitely NOT the best.

Here goes.

New shows I like enough to watch every week:
Pushing Daisies. (Great acting. The chick is quirky and funny. There are musical numbers and built in tension every week, just because of the premise)
Dirty Sexy Money. (Pilot was awesome. It is hit or miss. I have hopes for it. )
The Big Bang Theory (I know, I can't believe it either but I find myself chuckling. I can see it getting really tired.)
Bionic Woman (But it is wearing out it's welcome. The lead is terrible. The premise is interesting. It will probably go away and we won't miss it)
Samantha Who? (I enjoy this in that classic 60's wacky comedy with dumb premise way. Think The Girl With Something Extra or The Flying Nun)

Returning reality show that I am excited about:
The Amazing Race (It's a perfect game. Perfectly presented. It deserves every award it wins)

Old Show I want to kick in the ass for wasting all that viewer currency:
Heroes. (Hiro is in the past but nothing in the present is affected? Peter doesn't know his power....that's the same story as last year. The end of the world??? Sylar wants to obtain powers?????? Is it the first season already?)

Pilot I enjoyed but can't bring myself to watch any more episodes:
Chuck (I am tired of Beta males and I don't want them saving the world anymore.)
Reaper (More Beta males. Neat premise. But I just don't have the time to root for guys I have no respect for)

Shows I wish would gain their footing again because they have had great moments this season but are not, generally, up to par:
How I Met Your Mother (This has all the makings of a classic. They are stuck with Robin in the cast and she is a 3rd wheel. Get rid of her and get back to the story)
30 Rock (Someone at NBC tampered with this fucker. You can just feel it. The jokes don't fly as fast or furious. It's like they told them "Slow down for your audience. They shouldn't have. It will kill the show)

Idiotic show I watch because the vanity card hooked me and I find myself laughing at least 3 times an episode:
Two and a half men. (Truly. Record every episode and watch the title card. If that doesn't convince you that Chuck Lorre is funnier than the shows he creates, you are hopeless. After that, watch the shows. There are some funny bits in there.)

Programs that should embarrass the actors every time they cash the paycheck:
Cavemen (Holy crap.)
Carpoolers (Just crap)
Back to You (Expensive crap)
Are you Smarter than a 5th grader (Viewers should know better crap)

Shows I used to watch because my wife would watch them but now that I have a tv in the kitchen.....fuck that noise:
House (Weird illness of the week meets crochety super doc. Got it)
Grey's Anatomy (Hot people have problems, too. Got it)
Medium (talking to ghosts can help you solve mysteries. Got it)
Ghost Whisperer (Talking to Ghosts can help them get to the light. Got it. Love Hewitt? What's with the fake lashes and ugly sidekicks?)
Numbers (Understanding Math can help you solve murder. Got it)
Criminal Minds (I should watch this but I just can't. I. just. can't.)
America's Next Top Model (America is filled with pretty vaginas. Got it.)
Desperate Housewives (Is this still on? How is this still in the top ten?????)

Shows I should watch because I was on them but they hold no interest for me because I have the attention span of a flea:
JourneyMan (My part was too small for me to watch the whole episode.)
Private Practice (My part was originally in Grey's so I don't have to feel bad)
CSI (My part was a few years ago and cut up weird)
CSI NY (I was asked to come back and reprise my part but I couldn't)

Shows that I recognize as being good but I get the joke and it isn't as funny the 30th time as people want you to believe (or STOP MAKING HOUR LONG EPISODES OF HALF HOUR SHOWS!)
The Office (One day, and that day WILL come, the world will realize that this show was nowhere near as funny as people think it is.)

Show I watch because I fully enjoy the Schadenfraude:
Deal or No Deal (For god's sake, somebody explain math to these idiots. If you have 2 big numbers left and you MUST pick 2 or more cases, your game is over.)

Shows I am supposed to watch because everyone says it's good
Friday Night Lights (Peter Berg. I hate Peter Berg. Long Story)
Everybody Hates Chris (The PR would have you believe that this show is funny. Ha! THAT's funny!)
Aliens in America ( I saw five minutes. It looked cute. I forgot it was on)

Shows I could give or take. In other words not as good as ice cream but better than brussel sprouts
Survivor China (CHINA? Why not Survivor: Tupelo?)
My Name is Earl (You know, it's funny when I see it. I don't mind it. But then again, I don't carea)
Smallville (I only want to see him do super stuff. I hate 90% of the storylines)
Ugly Betty (It's a good show. I just never seem to get around to it)

List of shows that I will never see and am glad to say that about:
Gossip Girl
NCIS
The Singing Bee
Bones
The Unit
Cane
Kid Nation
Phenomenon
Life
Viva Laughlin
Vegas
Supernatural
Phenomenon
Scrubs
Without a Trace
Men in Trees
The Next Great American Band
Moonlight
Women's Murder Club
CSI Miami
Extreme makeover: Home Edition
Cold Case
Shark
Dancing with the Stars
Rules of Engagement
(NO explanations necessary)

Long live the Green Monkey!

Okay, not a lot of time here, folks, but I must explain my selections over at splotch's site. (www.isplotchy.blogspot.com)
the topic was gender, I chose men, here goes.

Paul Stanley by The Hellacopters.
Seriously. What band names a song after Paul Stanley? A great band, that's who. And one who just announced they are dissolving after their next album.
The Hellacopters will be the subject of my next edition of "The Mop" over at www.shuffleboil.com If you haven't been there already, shame on you. Come on by, we're doing some cool shit.

Pablo Picasso Visita Los Planetos de los Simios by Adam Ant. Pablo Picasso visits the Planet of the Apes? Adam must have been high. Oh, wait, he didn't do drugs. So, seriously, what the fuck? The song is as weird as it's title.

Jonathan by Nerf Herder. "Please god, don't let me end up like Jonathan Richman. Says it all right there. Nerf Herder always made me laugh and here they beat up on Indie's sensitive roving quirkmeister. Ha, always funny.

St. Jimmy the Prankster - Dean Gray. My late daughter's (www.lizzielulu.com) favorite band was Green Day. She wasn't too keen on the mashup from last year but, hey, she didn't quite get it yet. Dean Gray (get it? get it?) does such a great job of pointing out that all songs have been rewritten and art is repetetive and vital and all that stuff. This was available for one day on Dean Gray Tuesday last year. the album is one of the best mashups I have ever heard.

Vincent - Don Maclean. Because it is the greatest song ever written about an artist and his work. It succeeds on so many levels. It is touching and sad. It uses the canvas of the painting to illustrate the subject matter. It might be perfect. And no one dares cover it.

ShuffleBoil

So very proud to be a part of this one. Please go over to Shuffleboil, subscribe and read the genius. Or is that genus? Brilliance, I mean. Oh, fuck it. I'm reviewing music over at a great new webzine. www.shuffleboil.com

Come on by!