Listening Post: Van Halen - Van Halen

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?



Van Halen - Van Halen - 1978 (Buy It)

Samurai Frog was the first to respond. His missive was quick. It was terse. It was direct. He wanted VH. I shall oblige. For that reason and also because, driving to the farmer's market, "Running with the Devil" came on my ipod and I got hooked.

Holy fucking god.

It really really was better to grow up and listen to music in the 70s than the 80s or now, wasn't it?
Van Halen is one of, if not the, most assured debuts I have ever heard. Every note, every lyric, every pound of the drum is fashioned with such assuredness that one would assume that these guys had been around forever.
As a collection of songs, it doesn't let up. There is no moment of shit. No filler.
Eruption? Not only was it apparently so insanely influential that it inspired a legion of guitar gods to pick up the axe and shred, but it sounds fresh today!
And, any band that takes an iconic rock song, like The Kinks's You Really Got Me and make it sound like their own, really have something going on.
In fact, there is a uniquely wonderful thing happening here. This is the sound of a band so at ease yet so fired up, they want to prove something to the world, to themselves, to some parents, to some girl, while at the same time, they never beg you to like them. The KNOW they are the shit and they have the chops to prove it.
Classically trained children of a classical musician bring rock to a new place. Instead of going the prog-rock route that so many of that kind of student does, Eddie and Alex just redefine rock to meet their talent.
And Roth! He is Joel Grey's emcee dipped in a vat of sex.
You've heard about 75% of this album already. There's no way you couldn't have. But, if you don't own it, you really should. I can't believe I missed it, eschewed it, passed it by.
Pete was right.

Grade A+

A Side: Running with the Devil, Eruption, You Really Got Me, Jamie's Cryin', Ice Cream Man......
Blindside: On Fire & I'm the One (Even though it sounds like a warm-up for Hot For Teacher)
Downside: Little Dreamer, it's good, just not up to par.

Listening Post in your hands

The Listening Post series has turned out to be the most fun I've had in a long time. I've come to love some music, hate some, discover some. I thought I knew some things and I knew nothing in comparison.
I am about to go on vacation and I will be bringing the ipod and computer with me. Will I be listening? Will I be blogging? I don't know. But I do know that I have narrowed the field to two bands. Both are iconic. Both got their starts in the early 70s, had some rough times, replaced some key players, revitalized themselves then fell apart in the ways of music and drugs.
One is from the west the other from the east. Pasadena vs. Boston. You would think I would know more about them than I do, but the truth is, until recently, I had never had a complete album by either.
So, I leave it in your hands. You vote in the comments section (all three of you) by the end of this weekend and I will do the band who gets the most love. (I will do the other one next, of course.)
If you so desire, and you have a blog with readers, please compel them to vote as well. Each of these bands has over 100 songs in their catalogue and they have both been in the news lately.
That said, you control the next 10 hours of music that I will be listening to.
Here are the choices:


Aerosmith
or


Van Halen (All three versions)

You decide.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Lost Highway

And so we come to the end of another Listening Post. With Lost Highway we have traversed more than a quarter century of pure MOR.
Thanks for sticking it out with me.


Bon Jovi - Lost Highway - 2007
(Buy it)

To paraphrase Captain Kirk in Wrath of Khan: "I'll say this for them, they're persistent" and consistent.
The formula is in place and no one is straying. The only experimentation is the calculated ripping off of what's hot. In this case, the hottest thing going in America is Carrie Underwood so, Bon Jovi is now a "Nashville influenced" Rock band. This means adding a do-bro, some drawl, more tambourine (just a touch) and some arpeggiating.
Other than that, what's to say? These guys just keep pluggng along, the lone survivors of the 80s glam metal, carrying the torch of arena rock and doing it well. They ride the middle of that road so hard there is a trench where the white line used to be.
The duet with Leanne Rhimes, "We Ain't Strangers Anymore" might have been okay, but I can't help but feel pandered to. Like they just know they will sell x number of records with a country ballad duet and that pisses me off.
It's hard to condemn something that is basically harmless. It isn't great but it's fine if you are on a long drive somewhere, or want something on in the background while you do your taxes.

Grade B

A Side: Lost Highway
Blindside: We Got it Going On
Downside: One Step Closer. I am officially over JBJ's lovestruck whiny balladeering.

listening Post: Bon Jovi - Have a Nice Day

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Have a Nice Day - 2005 (Buy it)

Hooking up with a new producer seems to reinvigorate Bongiovi and Sambora, et al. This time it's John Shanks, Melissa Etheridge's guitarist and the pairing seems to suit them. The edge, the span of sound, the breadth of the recording, all of it carries that anthemic weight that we've come to expect from BJ. Everyone seems to be having a good time, bringing the best out of each other, especially on tracks like Who Says You can't Go Home.
The quasi country sound suits these Jersey cowboys like a nice hat.
Can't go Home steals from "Cupid, draw back your bow and Last Man Standing is copping from Boys of Summer but it doesn't matter because it just sounds so crackly and good and excellent. Go figure.
This record really doesn't let up and I find that it's a much more enjoyable experience than Crush. It's better than Bounce and right up there with the best of the band's oeuvre. Surprising, huh?
WAIT!!!! I got it! AFI. Thats who a lot of this sounds like. Modern "hard" rock. Power Pop of the moment. Especially on tracks like Novocaine and Complicated. (Strangely enough, both are song titles of (better) songs by power poppers like Green Day and Avril Lavigne.....hmmm...toss in the song Dirty Little Secret and it really makes me wonder what JB is going for here. Is he copying? Apeing? Trying to show them up? I don't know. But it's strange to take the titles of popular rock songs, write your own songs in the Power pop/rock vein and pass yourself off as original, eh)
Interestingly, where Springsteen has become older and wiser and wizened over the years, JBJ has energized himself and his music. When Bruce was in his mid-40s he was being all introspective and shit and Jon is realizing that his wheelhouse is Big. Rock.
Well done. Love this record.
My version contains the import singles, one of which, Unbreakable, is great and one other, These Open Arms, sucks. If you buy the album on itunes, it does not come with them. So, they shall not reflect this review.

Grade A (A solid album. One of their best.)

A Sides: Have a Nice Day & Who Says You Can't Go Home.
BlindSide: Last Man Standing (Riffy, driving rock. Tasty stuff even though it steals it's riff from Henley's Boys of Summer) Last Cigarette (Punchy, gritty rock. Love it)
Downside: Crazy enough, there really isn't one.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - This Left Feels Right

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - This Left Feels Right - 2003 (Buy it)

I've got to do something different with this CD. I think I have to blog each song as I go. Otherwise I might just give up.

Rather than repackage a greatest of music that his fans would already have JBJ decided to reimagine those songs so his fans would have something new. Or, redoing the songs means that people who own the original will be encouraged to send Jon and his guys more money.
Mercenary or art? We'll decide. (The live tracks will not be reviewed.)

Wanted: Dead or Alive: Um....I...think....okay....this is fucking weird shit, man. Acoustic Soundgardeny with giant choral backings. It sounds nothing like the original, which is good, but it's not good, so that's bad.
B

Livin' on a Prayer: Olivia D'Abo? OLIVIA D'ABO??? Backing vocals? Wtf? Why? Is she Gina? Yeah, it's a weird duet and the haunting arrangement counters the hopeful aspect of the song rendering it implausibly hard to listen to.
F

Bad Medicine: Not all songs are meant to be reinterpreted. Great songs can fit into ANY mode, milieu, style, framework and succeed. Bon Jovi doesn't write GREAT SONGS. They write stadium-ready epics with big choruses. Like Bad Medicine. This down played, wannabe-sexy and soulful version is just Bad.
F

It's My Life: Ah, the melancholy piano, why not? The original was so bright and punchy, maybe this will shed some light on the true meaning of the song....I don't think Jon is up to the task of reinventing and improvising phrasings but he definitely sells this. This is the first time I can actually sort of appreciate the reworking. Paul Anka's is much, much better but this is okay, too.
A

Lay Your Hands On Me: I liked the original, it was neat in a little pseudo-gospel way. This is pointless. The world doesn't need it. Waste of plastic.
D

You Give Love a Bad Name: Break out that do-bro, baby. Wait. What's with the Stray Cat Strut beat? This...this...this is actually.....no....YES! It's horrible! Holy Christ, someone should sit these guys in a room, play this song over and over until they tell us where Bin laden is.
F

Bed of Roses: Just a piano and Jon's voice opens this, the sweet drums accent the sentiment and the violins sugar it all up. THis is nice. This is Jon Bon Jovi FINALLY admitting that they are basically Billy Joel with hair.
A

Everyday: Sounds more like an *NSync slo-jam than I could have imagined. This is R&B at its most mediocre. That said, I still like the song.
C-

Born to be My Baby: You know this is one of the songs I liked off of New Jersey. I really don't think this adds anything. What it does show me is that band commits more to the metronome than to the music. If you are reinterpreting a song in this balladic, hymn-like way, you should let it breath. It's too bad they won't let it.
C-

Keep the Faith: This countryfied version of the 1992 hit has a nice southern rock feel to it. And it breathes. As opposed to the song that came before which, had it been produced like this, would probably have worked.
A-

I'll be there for you: Yuch. I hated the original I hate the saccharine crappy redux. The creepy stalker bridge is enough to make you want to poke your eyeballs out with a dildo. Make it stop.
F

Always Well this isn't fair, now, is it? I didn't include the greatest hits package in the retro so I never heard the original which was a bonus song. Maybe that's a good thing. Let's listen.
So, it's JBJ pouring his heart out to some women, declaring never ending love, kind of creepy in a covet they neighbor sort of way. It's harmless and pointless. Why am I doing this again??
Hang on a sec: THIS was JBJ's biggest selling single? What the how? Who is buying this stuff!!!!?
C

Grade D+
A Side: It's My Life
BlindSide: Bed of Roses
DownSide: Livin on a Prayer & You Give Love A Bad Name

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Bounce

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Bounce - 2002 (buy it)


Okay. So Bruce had The Rising.
Neil Young had his album about 9/11 (I'm not a Young fan so I have no idea what it's called)
And Bon Jovi, being from New Jersey, they have to weigh in as well.
Okie dokie. Let's listen to Bounce.

Brother in the Rubble? Sister in the Crush? Ouch. Oh, hey, the chorus is coming up, I bet it's a downe---One for Love? Hmm...
You know what? This opener isn't half bad. It's gritty, painful and, for the first time I have no idea who they sound like. It's almost that, after rendering himself anonymous on so many records that sound like someone else, JBJ and the gang have actually managed to sound, dare I say, important? At the very least they sound like Bon Jovi.

Let's keep listening.

Whoever songwriter Andreas Carlsson is he's having a very positive effect on the Bongiovi crew. This album is shaping up to be more about moving on and picking up the pieces than it is about feeling bad about ourselves. Of course, both of those sentiments are uniquely American ones, but the moving on is what I would expect from these guys. Life is just another record, tour, movie, tv show, American Idol appearance. You gotta keep pushing forward.
It should be noted that just about 5 songs in and it still isn't horrible. I've just read the Ehrlewine review on allmusic and I totally disagree.
When he says that Sambora's guitars "never lets the music breathe" he's wrong. This album is about not being able to, in a way. That's the point.
"this is a record where Bon Jovi seems to have consciously decided to avoid everything that gives their music character, melody, and muscle" Um...Steve, have you been listening to the same band I have? Character? Muscle? Sorry, pal. This album actually has some power and crunch and assertiveness that the bright sheen of pop on Crush was sorely lacking.
After a crappo ballad we're hit with a dustbowl grunge song called "Hook me up" which has Jon channeling his inner Josh Todd (buckcherry). It works. It doesn't suck, at least.
Does Bounce work as a post 9-11 catharsis. I don't know. Maybe. It is definitely the band's most accessible and appreciable record in a long while.

Quick Note: I just read that the final track "Open all Night" was written by Jon as response to his character being cut from Ally McBeal. It's not a vengeance song but, rather, his sentiments on how he wished his character had exited the show. I think that's kind of a neat idea. It's not a great song, but it's not that bad.
You could do worse than to listen to Bounce.

Grade B
A Side: Everyday
Blindside: Undivided & Bounce
Downside: All About Loving You & Right Side of Wrong. (Oh, that's just awful. Horrid. Turgid. Painful. Embarrassing. Make-it-stop!)

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Crush

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Crush - 2000 (buy it)

Oh, hey, Fountains of Wayne! Jon Bon Jovi is stealing your sound! Yeah. I know. At the time of Crush no on had really ever heard of you but on "Say it isn't so" it's pretty clear that they had heard Utopia Parkway and decided that power pop rock was still alive and that you guys were doing it best. Why not rip it?
What, you say? "It's My Life" sounds nothing like FoW? This is true. It kind of sounds like *NSync, dontcha think?
I don't understand Crush. I don't like it. But I don't hate it. (Sense a pattern??) Bon Jovi is harmless. When they stop recording they will have registered nary a blip on the historical soundscape of Rock and Roll. I'm sure of that. They have been coasting on one or two singles, good looks, a name and a memory of gigantic singles. I imagine that their fans just buy their stuff because they feel like they have to. Like BJ speaks a language they understand. In other words: rock that doesn't offend. Rock for the Jack FM listener. Boring, yes, but at least the listener gets to think they are listening to rock music. They aren't. They are listening to pap.
Oh, shit. I think I'm reaching nadir. I don't know how to find other words to describe this "music".
It's pointless.
Have you heard the hit single? You're good. Did you ever see the video? Where "Tommy" is on the phone with "Gina" and racing to meet her at a bon jovi concert? You didn't. Oh. It's shit. Like the rest of this record.
Screw it. This CD is hurting my ears.
***********
Okie doke.
I'm done with this. It took forever, by the way. It's freaking LONG. 60+ minutes AND there's a couple bonus tracks I got (which are better than most of the stuff on the rest of the cd.
That said. It isn't a hateful piece of loathsome trash. It's almost, but not quite.
Truth is, at this point Im just not sure why these guys make music, what inspires them or if anything does besides the paycheck and the sweet Heather Locklear/Denise Richards 'tang.

Personally I find it laughable that the band tried to "reinvent" themselves with an "edgier" look but, what the fuck, they're posers. And, oh, yes, how can i forget? Why is It's My Life the only likable song on this piece of drek? Because it was co-written by Max Martin, he of Britney Spears fame. The man could wipe his ass and find a pop hook in it.

Grade B-
A Side: It's My Life
Blindside: One Wild Night
Downside: Thank you for loving me. (Shut up, Jon)

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - (these days)

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - (these days) - 1995 (buy it)

Let's get a couple things out of the way:
This album sold over 10 million copies???? Where the hell was I? Does anyone know about this?
Also:
This might be one of my favorite Bon Jovi albums.
That's not really saying much, all things considered, I realize. However, when all is said and done, this is a really good record. It's interesting that Sambora and Bongiovi are credited as 2 of the main producers and it's the most earnest album in the catalogue. It's got edge, darkness and a little bit of heart.
It's overlong, of course, because why make a song 4 minutes when you can make it six? Why NOT fill up 63 minutes of plastic? I mean, it's there, right?
So, there was a break between the last album and (these days) (Parentheses, theirs. These parentheses are mine) and I can just imagine Jon and Richie sitting in the studio and listening to Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains and loving, just LOVING the sound. It's not that I think the guys are rip off artists. I really don't. I think they just listen to stuff and let what they like inform their music. (Okay, I do think there's a little eye on what's popular....) And the cover of the album (Yeah, Jim DeRogatis, I review album covers, fuck you with your last bastion of the lazy reviewer). Its got that purplish saturation, the band in the forefront but the background is as important and, oh yes, the name of the album is scribbled in faux hand writing. It's sooooooo 90s.
The songs...yeah, they're kind of generic but there is an epic sadness to this cd. It's got power. Some of it is elegiac, but not most of it, which is a nice change.
Here's the thing, though. When it's over, you have completely forgotten that you listened to it. I admit, a lot of Bon Jovi music is that way but this one especially. I couldn't tell you how any song goes and I just finished the album.

Hmmmm.

Grade B-

A Side: These Days (JBJ is doing his Springsteen again but, heck, I would like to learn to play this.)
Blindside: Hey God,
Downside: Lie to Me (A blechy ballady single that bores the crap out of the listener made worse by it's issue as a single.

Arte y Pico Award of Blogospherical excellence. Or Something.

One of my favorite blogs, Electronic Cerebrectomy, has seen fit to award me with the Arte Y Pico award. I don't know that means but I do know that Samurai Frog has been enjoying the Listening Posts and that makes me happy.
Do yourself a favor and check in on the doings at E.C. It's one of more interesting and fun slice of life/pop culture blogs I have read. Without the TMZ disgustingness.


The Bon Jovi Listening Post will continue, I promise. Still slogging through the mid-90s material. I WILL make it to the end. Then figure out who's next. Hint: It will NOT be Beck. I'm still feeling the Classic Rock. Might be a certain initialed band that really petered out on their last numeraled album. Or they wear a ton of makeup. Or they were honkin' on bobo recently......not sure.....

When auditioning meets geekdom

So, based on an article I read recently where an iPhone user kept scanned his boarding pass onto his phone and use it to get on a plane I decided I would test it out at auditions.

The new thing in casting for commercials is that we have all now filled out our "size cards" on a computer system. Size cards hold our vital information, weight, heigh, hair color, eye color, agency, contact info, etc.
So, we are encouraged to bring in the stupid little piece of paper with our bar code on it so it can be scanned and our vital info can be put directly onto our audition tape, etc. Saves time, saves paper.
However.
I always forget where I put the damned thing, or it gets lost in my wallet and I have to print a new one every time. It's annoying.

Until now.

"casting frontier" sent me a confirmation email with my bar code for my own use, to print, etc. I saved it as a pdf and stored it on a separate folder in my mail on my iPod Touch.



At the audition I took a chance and had the guy running session scan my ipod. It took an extra second or two but did it work?

You betcher ass it did.

Score one more for new technology.