#68
Reviewed by Tom Mott
February 1980
Witchfynde
Give ‘em Hell
Allen’s Rating: 4 out of 5
Tom’s Rating: 2.666 out of 5
Tom’s HIGHLIGHTS:
Ready to Roll
Tetelestai
Rating: 2.666
SUMMARY: A sludgy stew of pub rock, Dio riffs, proggy tidbits, and Mickey-Thomas/Brad-Delp-ish vocals, with really boring guitar solos. Some of the songs have potential, but run 1-2 minutes too long. Listen to Dio, Judas Priest, or Scorpions instead. Or Boston and Starship. Or wait for Guns and Roses. Or dial back the clock and listen to Dr. Feelgood or Orang-utan. Do I detect shades or Yes in there, without the musicianship? Maaaaaaybe .....
REVIEW: I'm not a metal guy. Nor a metylle gye. Happily this New Wave of British Heavy Metal band barely registers as metal, so I can judge it and not feel like I'm yucking someone's yum.
READY TO ROLL: Rating 3.5. Strong rock riffs, almost metal, oddly offset by Boston-ish vocals. Maybe he's going for a Dio thing? I love Dio. I hate this guy.
THE DIVINE VICTIM: Rating 3.0. Opens with very cool, crunchy riffs. But then that weird Brad Delp wannabe starts singing again and I want to throw my shoe at him. I love Boston singles, but this isn't Boston-style rock. Just stop.
LEAVING NADIR: Rating 0.9. So tedius I don't have the strength to correct my spelling. I'm throwing my other shoe. Something about "the devil" -- maybe he's prepping eggs for a backyard potluck? What are the rules, Allen? Can I fast forward? This song is 6:12 too long.
GETTIN' HEAVY. Rating 1.53. AllMusic lists this as GETTIN' DEAVY. Spotify lists it as GETTING' HEAVY. It's The Song that Must Not be Named. Sample Lyric: "Met a pretty lady, it was meant to be. [Indecipherable jibber-jabber]."
INTO THE AGES OF THE AGES. Rating 2.2. Someone smoked pot and came up with the title. And then they were all "oh shit, now we have to write the song. Let's make it really long, because 'ages of the ages' get it, get it?" It started as a 2.7, but after I realized I wasn't even a third of the way through, it dropped a half point.
PAY NOW - LOVE LATER. Rating 3.0. Starts out as a crunchy pub rocker. OK! And then fuhg ... his voice. Is replacing a comma with a hyphen part of the Nü Metal punctuation pantheon, or are thery striking out into new territory here?
THE DEVIL'S GALLOP. Rating 4.0. A 30-second Monty Pythonesque interlude that makes no sense but gets 2 stars for audacity and 2 more for brevity.
TETELESTAI. Rating 3.7. Standout track. Some proto Sweet Child of Mine guitar sounds in there. A fun rocker with solid solos. But then like King Sadim, everything his voices touches turns to crap. (See what I did there?) Dammit, just when I thought it was over, it was only half over. But lo! The instrumental bit that kicks off the second half is some great rawk. Well done!
WAKE UP SCREAMING. Rating 1.3. "I'm burning. Burning!" Get this man some Preparation H. Awful.
SOME TRACKS NAME-CHECKED IN THE REVIEW:
Orang-utan "Chocolate Piano"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsTmyExEwxs
Dio "Holy Diver"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lvs2FzF64o
Starship "Find Your Way Back"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj4gqJzlIvc
Dr. Feelgood "She Does It Right"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHm7uIC84YM
Yes "Starship Trooper"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKftiJS30Cs
Bonus: The best thing you'll ever read about Axl Rose. I promise:
https://www.gq.com/story/final-comeback-axl-rose
https://open.spotify.com/album/7jMFN7LkoLR5Z2ub38Zo9E?si=3dySyh5uRPqfz0bVt2tCtw
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