Krokus - Hardware
#154
by Rob Slater
March 1981
Krokus
Hardware
Genre: Wanna Be AC/DC, Judas Priest, and the Scorpions.
Allen’s rating: 2 out of 5
Grade/Rating: B-. 3.25 out of 5. (Initial score was a 2.75 C-)
Highlights: (Best of the B-sides)
Celebration
Burning Bones
Rock City
Winning Man
So, AC/DC was stupid not to grab the Krocus lead singer when Bon Scott died. If you have not heard, "Tonight, Long Stick Goes Boom," go to the corner and listen to it right now. Better than Brian Johnson, eh? Though I suppose it's hard to argue with Back in Black. But it was like AC/DC shot their.... uh... stuff with that one. After that it was one decent song per album, maybe….
Celebration is a good opener. Rockin’ but not too rockin’. Followed by Easy Rocker, alo decent, basically about that guy who wishes he was in the band or at least a Roadie.
The next two, Mr. 69? Smelly Nelly? It's kind of obvious that English is not the first language of these guys. but one has to appreciate the balls to the wall sort of choices they make. And from another album, the aforementioned "Tonight, Long Stick Goes Boom." They've got the idea, even if they tend to be offensive and are not subtle and did not have the innuendo and word play of Bon Scott era AC/DC.
She’s Got Everything is utterly acceptable 80s metal and as utterly forgettable.
Burning Bones of War. Lyrics are actually pretty cool on this one. Not like many of the others, though reading the lyrics enhanced my appreciation, though it also included some revulsion.
Rock City is pretty decent, at least as good as KISS’s Rock City, though I know I'm speaking sacrilege for some people. This is a good example of the voice that should have replaced Bon Scott. And I'm pretty sure they used an English rhyming dictionary to come up with as many words that rhyme with rockin’ as possible.
The next song, Winning Man, foreshadows their later big pop hits, like Screaming in The Night, my favorite Krokus song. I actually like it quite a bit.
Interestingly enough the band Krokus also had a guitarist named Tom Kiefer, the same name as the lead singer guitarist and primary songwriter of the band Cinderella. Thankfully, he only wrote one song, Smelly Nelly.
Interesting factoid: Chris von Rohr, bassist/keyboardist (original drummer, then lead vocalist) and Tommy Kiefer, both former members of Kaktus. Also, since I need to figure out a way to mention Spinal Tap… These guys had Eleven (11) drummers! And 10 guitarists, 9 bass players, 8 lead singers, 7 keyboardists, 6 albums that charted in the U.S., 5 members of the “Classic” Krokus, 4 hits that were covers, 3 major guest singers, 2 live albums and 1 partridge in a pear tree.
Give them points for writing all the songs on this album themselves, whereas, later they relied on covers for the hits. They did have some pretty impressive guest singers later, Bruce Dickinson, Jimi Jameson, and Rob Halford.
So, definitely one of those, “Buy the Greatest Hits collection,” bands. I listened to it a lot while I was doing construction and fighting the rain and wind to keep said construction dry and together!
https://open.spotify.com/album/5CK8mbL1Yr6iWRfrsMTHeW?si=b_aOolJaRUCWNFYba3l8YQ
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