Listening Post: Van Halen - Diver Down

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?



Van Halen - Diver Down - 1982 (Buy it)

"Where have all the good times gone?" the band asks on the opening track and I feel the same way after listening to this entry in their catalog.
Diver Down was sort of where I come in during VH's history. Because, well, who didn't love Pretty Woman? I bought the 45, the b-side of which was another cover, the goody a cappella "Happy Trails".
Now, here I am, 26 years removed from the days when I would hum those tunes in Mrs. Sprinkle's english class and I am finally diving in (pun intended) and what do I find?
This is the least inspired album in the band's oeuvre. Obviously they were burned by testing experimental waters on Fair Warning.
There is still the Eddie solo masturbation excercise (cathedral) which is a signature of the group but the rest of this is a sleepy, slunky exercise in retread.
The damned thing is chock full of covers which I would have expected from the band on maybe their first couple of entries but they are seasoned vets here. It's sort of inexcusable. And yet, it worked. At the time, this album was huge.
But it's as boring as can be.
Whatever fire was ignited on VH, whatever cocksuredness was put forth on II and W&C1st and whatever branching out that was achieved on Fair Warning is put to rest here.
There are no surprises.
In short, you don't need this album. You don't even really need the singles. Although Pretty Woman IS one of the best covers ever and The Full Bug is a blues number that is a harbinger of things to come.

Grade C
A Side: Pretty Woman
BlindSide: Big Bad Bill is Sweet William Now (Pulling a Queen here with the dixie-swing/white man blues) & The Full Bug
Downside: Secrets

Listening Post: Van Halen - Fair Warning

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?



Van Halen - Fair Warning - 1981 (Buy It)

From the first crunchy sounds of Eddie Van Halen's guitar we know that this is a different sort of VH record. It's more progressive. It's more assured. It takes chances and risks.
Of course it was their worst seller.
It's a shame, really, because after two records that are carbon copies of the same roller rink rock idea, and one that sounds like the stadium version of the previous two, Fair Warning is a breath of fresh air.
David's sleaziness is match note for note by Eddie's guitar.
Fair Warning isn't a friendly album. It's a stinky album. It's a dense album. It's a short album. And it's a great album.

Grade B+

A Side: Mean Street & Unchained
Blindside: Sinner's Swing
Downside: Push Comes to Shove (We don't need creepy grooves from the party boys)

Listening Post: Rick Springfield - Venus in Overdrive

Taking a breather from the retrospective nature of Listening Posts (and the redundant nature of the Van Halen Brothers Masturbation Projects), I got a note today that there was a new Rick Springfield album released (thanks, Mr. Orwell, I mean, iTunes!).
If you know me, you know that I am a Springfield fanatic. I came to him late, which is sort of a theme of mine. I was actually buying my girlfriend a vinyl copy of Working Class Dog (mocking the whole way) and spent an afternoon listening and saying, "WTF? This is great!".
Since then I have collected every album of Rick's on vinyl, save Sahara Snow & Anger....which are on CD.
This is the first ephemeral only Rick purchase. So, when I want to share it with my daughter, I will be hauling out an external hard drive and saying, "THIS is my music collection, behold the....abstract disposable, intangible nothingness!"

Is Venus in Overdrive good?
It's a shitload better than that crapfest album of covers he did a couple years ago, that's for sure.
And it's an interesting companion piece to Shock/Denial/Anger/Acceptance. Where that album took the dense depression that was Rick's wheelhouse in the late 90s and early aughts and melded it to a thick power pop conceit, ViO is much more acceptable.
In a way, Venus bridges the gap between Jessie's Girl and Beautiful You. Rick is accessible again, visiting the same pop hookiness (and mining his own sound in the process) of the former and melding it with an elder statesman viewpoint.
Much of it sounds like he listened to too much Jimmy Eat World but, that's okay, because I like Jimmy Eat World.
She is as good a John Lennon song as anyone has ever mimicked (and without anything new, it's nice to have someone besides Utopia to ape the sound), it actually kind of reminds me of The Monkees' Porpoise Song.
Allmusic is pretty dead on when they say that Mr. PC is a dynamite Foo Fighters tune, but I think it's got a little more teeth than Mr. Grohl can muster.
I feel bad for Rick, to be honest. He's a good little popsmith who is pigeonholed as a nostalgia act. His appeal is limited, perhaps by age, perhaps by his dedication to a song style that no one seems to be interested in anymore. it's kind of a shame. The same thing is sort of happening to REM.
I'm not sure anyone will buy this album that isn't already a fan, so Rick is preaching to a pretty devout choir. I have to wonder if there is anything to get new fans to buy this, though. I wish they would. The world needs a little Power Pop.

Buy Venus in Overdrive

Grade B+
A Side: Victoria's Secret
Blindside: 3 Warning Shots & Mr. PC
Downside: God Blinked (Swing it Sister) [late model Adam Ant quasi-neurotic angular dance music.]

Defender!

Okay, mofos, this has gotta be quick. I'm in a coffee shop in Big Bear on vacation. Helped my niece get online for her college stuff.
There is an arcade in this town. It has a Defender machine. I used to play Defender every day as a lad in Bar Harbor in the summertime. I never got more than 50,000 points.
A few years ago Beth and I were in Big Bear and hit the arcade and I dropped about 3 bucks in the game, once again, never getting more than 50K.
2 months ago I was at a production company where they have the game in their lobby. It's free. I got killed before I got one extra ship.
I suck.
Then we walked into this arcade in Big Bear again. Beth, Aaron, Tommy and I. I put four quarters on the machine and started.
I cracked 50,000 and ran out of smart bombs. Then I lost my spacemen and I was in outer space, where it is all frenzied mutants and pods and it's impossible to survive, at least for me.
Something odd happened this time, though.
I survived space.
I got back to the planet.
I broke 100,000 points.
200,000.
If I could just get, 300,000 that would be cool, I thought.
Then 3, 4, and half a million points.
Beth was ready to go. Ready to GO!?!?!? Are you crazy????? Don't you see what's happening here? My thumb and last two fingers on my joystick hand are blistered and bleeding. Dare I hope? Do I dream of a million?
I've never gotten more than three screens on ANY video game!
Then it happened.
994,000...996,000...998,000.....
And the game turned over.
One million.
Back to zero.
After that I just tried to die so I could put my name in.
I had 25 smart bombs and 40 ships. I could have played all day. I was in the zone.
I saved the fucking galaxy and achieved a lifetime dream.
I'm a geek, yes, but a geek who turned Defender over, fuckers!

listening Post: Van Halen - Women and Children First

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?




Van Halen - Women and Children First - 1980 (Buy it)

This is different. This sounds like the soundtrack to Almost Famous. This is classic rock determined to stand shoulder to shoulder with the giants of the day. There's a broader palette being drawn here. The soundscape is wider and more dense than anything that has come before.
Once again, the party atmosphere is present but, like I said, this is....different. It's a sound best played in a 50,000 seat amphitheater but it works great at a kegger, too.
The roller rink atmosphere is gone, though. Replaced by a prog-rock sensibility. W&C1st is not as easy to sink your teeth into. It's actually a more demanding record. Chunkier, groggier. At the same time it's a quick record and not just by elapsed time. Though that is swift, it's a breeze to get through most of this stuff. It sits nicely in the background and works well on your headphones.
Behind it all, VH has a sound and formula that just works. I'm not sure you need to hear anything but the first record, though.

Grade B+
A Side: And the Cradle Will Rock
Blindside: Everybody Wants Some! & Could this be Magic
Downside: Fools. It's just a little bloated amidst the streamlined stealth.

listening Post: Van Halen - Van Halen II

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?



Van Halen - Van Halen II - 1979 (Buy it)

Softer. That's my first sense of this album. A little more sheen. A little more pandering to the sounds of the times. Not as much edge. This is a supergroup that wants to sell more records the second time around.
This is not a bad thing. It just means that it's not full of surprises. It is EXACTLY what the title says.

Number 2.

Just another collection of songs by the rockingest cockrockers from Pasadena, California.

It opens with a sleepy, creepy blues cover of a Clint Ballard tune. Not how I would choose to open the album, but what the hell, doesn't matter.
This is more party rock.
Actually, it's better than that. This is roller rink rock.
There is no change to the formula. It worked the first time, it works the second time around.
Trouble is, after the first album there's really no reason to own this. Together, the two albums are barely over 1 hour in length so, by today's standards it would qualify as one cd.
However, 30 minutes is perfect. It's just right. Albums really shouldn't be much longer than 35 minutes, should they? Is there really anything you can't say in 35 minutes?
There's another Eddie solo piece on this. It's very different from "Eruption". "Spanish Fly" is an acoustic treat.
Eddie Van Halen. Show off. If only he wasn't so fucking good.
God, I can hear future Motley Crue all over this. And Poison. And Ratt and Warrant and all those big haired buggers. Just how influential was VH? Considering that they are really just Zeppelin Lite. But I hear the future of Rock and Roll through this album and it's just around the corner.

Grade A (But you don't need it if you have the first album)
A Side: Dance the Night Away
Blindside: Somebody get me a Doctor & D.O.A. & Beautiful Girls
Downside: You're No Good.

VH1 honors The Who

My good friend Jeff Christian, a high school buddy and school radio show co-hort has been extolling the virtues of The Who and the VH1 honors show for weeks. He emailed me his thoughts this morning so I thought we would make him Guest Blogger for the day.



From Jeff:
A few random thoughts on the VH1 show...

1. Dave Grohl is the coolest mofo on the freakin' planet! "Young Man Blues" was absolutely searing. I only wish they hadn't let that douchey little guy in the fedora come out to do vocals on “Bargain.”

2. Incubus gave "I Can See for Miles" just the right psychedelic edge, but missed the mark on "I Can't Explain.". I was craving Moonie's machine-gun fills and Pete's jangly Rickenbacker lead.

3. The Flaming Lips are totally insane…in a good way. And I want to crowd surf in a hamster ball before I die.

4. I loves me some Jack Black, but does he need to appear on every awards and tribute show?!? At least Mike Myers stayed home.

5. Eddie Vedder's vocal cords must have looked like ground beef after "Love Reign O'er Me," but it was worth every burst capillary. I think he's the most powerful vocalist of his era.

6. The introductions were fawning and generally unnecessary. When I think "rock gods," David Duchovny does not leap to mind. A little more Who history would have been appropriate.

7. I'd like to shake the hand of the VH1 salesperson that convinced Garnier Fructis that women15-24 are huge fans of The Who!!

8. Roger and Pete still have that amazing sound and interplay. But the banter was forced and Townshend's windmilling is beginniing to look unbecoming and self-parodic at his age. If they (as Daltrey foreshadowed) choose to do this into their nineties, I hope they won't keep smashing instruments.

9. My 4-year old was inconsolable when the show started because when I told her we were going to be hearing The Who, she assumed it would be Dr. Seuss.

Long live rock!!!

Listening Post: Van Halen - Van Halen

When I was about 15 or 16 my best friend in the summer vacation town of Bar Harbor was a guy named Pete. I met him while we were both prep cooks at the town's greasy spoon. Pete was a metal guy all the way. Used to listen to Pantera before anyone knew who they were. He took me to see Ozzy at the Blizzard of Oz tour stop at the Bangor State Fair, (Randy Rhodes was 5 feet from me and a little band named Def Leppard was the opener). Pete also had a pair of pants tailor painted with white stripes to emulate Eddie Van Halen's guitar. While I was immersing myself in Queen, Pete was learning to shred. I never even gave the Pasadena boys a chance.
Let's remedy that now, shall we?



Van Halen - Van Halen - 1978 (Buy It)

Samurai Frog was the first to respond. His missive was quick. It was terse. It was direct. He wanted VH. I shall oblige. For that reason and also because, driving to the farmer's market, "Running with the Devil" came on my ipod and I got hooked.

Holy fucking god.

It really really was better to grow up and listen to music in the 70s than the 80s or now, wasn't it?
Van Halen is one of, if not the, most assured debuts I have ever heard. Every note, every lyric, every pound of the drum is fashioned with such assuredness that one would assume that these guys had been around forever.
As a collection of songs, it doesn't let up. There is no moment of shit. No filler.
Eruption? Not only was it apparently so insanely influential that it inspired a legion of guitar gods to pick up the axe and shred, but it sounds fresh today!
And, any band that takes an iconic rock song, like The Kinks's You Really Got Me and make it sound like their own, really have something going on.
In fact, there is a uniquely wonderful thing happening here. This is the sound of a band so at ease yet so fired up, they want to prove something to the world, to themselves, to some parents, to some girl, while at the same time, they never beg you to like them. The KNOW they are the shit and they have the chops to prove it.
Classically trained children of a classical musician bring rock to a new place. Instead of going the prog-rock route that so many of that kind of student does, Eddie and Alex just redefine rock to meet their talent.
And Roth! He is Joel Grey's emcee dipped in a vat of sex.
You've heard about 75% of this album already. There's no way you couldn't have. But, if you don't own it, you really should. I can't believe I missed it, eschewed it, passed it by.
Pete was right.

Grade A+

A Side: Running with the Devil, Eruption, You Really Got Me, Jamie's Cryin', Ice Cream Man......
Blindside: On Fire & I'm the One (Even though it sounds like a warm-up for Hot For Teacher)
Downside: Little Dreamer, it's good, just not up to par.

Listening Post in your hands

The Listening Post series has turned out to be the most fun I've had in a long time. I've come to love some music, hate some, discover some. I thought I knew some things and I knew nothing in comparison.
I am about to go on vacation and I will be bringing the ipod and computer with me. Will I be listening? Will I be blogging? I don't know. But I do know that I have narrowed the field to two bands. Both are iconic. Both got their starts in the early 70s, had some rough times, replaced some key players, revitalized themselves then fell apart in the ways of music and drugs.
One is from the west the other from the east. Pasadena vs. Boston. You would think I would know more about them than I do, but the truth is, until recently, I had never had a complete album by either.
So, I leave it in your hands. You vote in the comments section (all three of you) by the end of this weekend and I will do the band who gets the most love. (I will do the other one next, of course.)
If you so desire, and you have a blog with readers, please compel them to vote as well. Each of these bands has over 100 songs in their catalogue and they have both been in the news lately.
That said, you control the next 10 hours of music that I will be listening to.
Here are the choices:


Aerosmith
or


Van Halen (All three versions)

You decide.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Lost Highway

And so we come to the end of another Listening Post. With Lost Highway we have traversed more than a quarter century of pure MOR.
Thanks for sticking it out with me.


Bon Jovi - Lost Highway - 2007
(Buy it)

To paraphrase Captain Kirk in Wrath of Khan: "I'll say this for them, they're persistent" and consistent.
The formula is in place and no one is straying. The only experimentation is the calculated ripping off of what's hot. In this case, the hottest thing going in America is Carrie Underwood so, Bon Jovi is now a "Nashville influenced" Rock band. This means adding a do-bro, some drawl, more tambourine (just a touch) and some arpeggiating.
Other than that, what's to say? These guys just keep pluggng along, the lone survivors of the 80s glam metal, carrying the torch of arena rock and doing it well. They ride the middle of that road so hard there is a trench where the white line used to be.
The duet with Leanne Rhimes, "We Ain't Strangers Anymore" might have been okay, but I can't help but feel pandered to. Like they just know they will sell x number of records with a country ballad duet and that pisses me off.
It's hard to condemn something that is basically harmless. It isn't great but it's fine if you are on a long drive somewhere, or want something on in the background while you do your taxes.

Grade B

A Side: Lost Highway
Blindside: We Got it Going On
Downside: One Step Closer. I am officially over JBJ's lovestruck whiny balladeering.

listening Post: Bon Jovi - Have a Nice Day

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Have a Nice Day - 2005 (Buy it)

Hooking up with a new producer seems to reinvigorate Bongiovi and Sambora, et al. This time it's John Shanks, Melissa Etheridge's guitarist and the pairing seems to suit them. The edge, the span of sound, the breadth of the recording, all of it carries that anthemic weight that we've come to expect from BJ. Everyone seems to be having a good time, bringing the best out of each other, especially on tracks like Who Says You can't Go Home.
The quasi country sound suits these Jersey cowboys like a nice hat.
Can't go Home steals from "Cupid, draw back your bow and Last Man Standing is copping from Boys of Summer but it doesn't matter because it just sounds so crackly and good and excellent. Go figure.
This record really doesn't let up and I find that it's a much more enjoyable experience than Crush. It's better than Bounce and right up there with the best of the band's oeuvre. Surprising, huh?
WAIT!!!! I got it! AFI. Thats who a lot of this sounds like. Modern "hard" rock. Power Pop of the moment. Especially on tracks like Novocaine and Complicated. (Strangely enough, both are song titles of (better) songs by power poppers like Green Day and Avril Lavigne.....hmmm...toss in the song Dirty Little Secret and it really makes me wonder what JB is going for here. Is he copying? Apeing? Trying to show them up? I don't know. But it's strange to take the titles of popular rock songs, write your own songs in the Power pop/rock vein and pass yourself off as original, eh)
Interestingly, where Springsteen has become older and wiser and wizened over the years, JBJ has energized himself and his music. When Bruce was in his mid-40s he was being all introspective and shit and Jon is realizing that his wheelhouse is Big. Rock.
Well done. Love this record.
My version contains the import singles, one of which, Unbreakable, is great and one other, These Open Arms, sucks. If you buy the album on itunes, it does not come with them. So, they shall not reflect this review.

Grade A (A solid album. One of their best.)

A Sides: Have a Nice Day & Who Says You Can't Go Home.
BlindSide: Last Man Standing (Riffy, driving rock. Tasty stuff even though it steals it's riff from Henley's Boys of Summer) Last Cigarette (Punchy, gritty rock. Love it)
Downside: Crazy enough, there really isn't one.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - This Left Feels Right

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - This Left Feels Right - 2003 (Buy it)

I've got to do something different with this CD. I think I have to blog each song as I go. Otherwise I might just give up.

Rather than repackage a greatest of music that his fans would already have JBJ decided to reimagine those songs so his fans would have something new. Or, redoing the songs means that people who own the original will be encouraged to send Jon and his guys more money.
Mercenary or art? We'll decide. (The live tracks will not be reviewed.)

Wanted: Dead or Alive: Um....I...think....okay....this is fucking weird shit, man. Acoustic Soundgardeny with giant choral backings. It sounds nothing like the original, which is good, but it's not good, so that's bad.
B

Livin' on a Prayer: Olivia D'Abo? OLIVIA D'ABO??? Backing vocals? Wtf? Why? Is she Gina? Yeah, it's a weird duet and the haunting arrangement counters the hopeful aspect of the song rendering it implausibly hard to listen to.
F

Bad Medicine: Not all songs are meant to be reinterpreted. Great songs can fit into ANY mode, milieu, style, framework and succeed. Bon Jovi doesn't write GREAT SONGS. They write stadium-ready epics with big choruses. Like Bad Medicine. This down played, wannabe-sexy and soulful version is just Bad.
F

It's My Life: Ah, the melancholy piano, why not? The original was so bright and punchy, maybe this will shed some light on the true meaning of the song....I don't think Jon is up to the task of reinventing and improvising phrasings but he definitely sells this. This is the first time I can actually sort of appreciate the reworking. Paul Anka's is much, much better but this is okay, too.
A

Lay Your Hands On Me: I liked the original, it was neat in a little pseudo-gospel way. This is pointless. The world doesn't need it. Waste of plastic.
D

You Give Love a Bad Name: Break out that do-bro, baby. Wait. What's with the Stray Cat Strut beat? This...this...this is actually.....no....YES! It's horrible! Holy Christ, someone should sit these guys in a room, play this song over and over until they tell us where Bin laden is.
F

Bed of Roses: Just a piano and Jon's voice opens this, the sweet drums accent the sentiment and the violins sugar it all up. THis is nice. This is Jon Bon Jovi FINALLY admitting that they are basically Billy Joel with hair.
A

Everyday: Sounds more like an *NSync slo-jam than I could have imagined. This is R&B at its most mediocre. That said, I still like the song.
C-

Born to be My Baby: You know this is one of the songs I liked off of New Jersey. I really don't think this adds anything. What it does show me is that band commits more to the metronome than to the music. If you are reinterpreting a song in this balladic, hymn-like way, you should let it breath. It's too bad they won't let it.
C-

Keep the Faith: This countryfied version of the 1992 hit has a nice southern rock feel to it. And it breathes. As opposed to the song that came before which, had it been produced like this, would probably have worked.
A-

I'll be there for you: Yuch. I hated the original I hate the saccharine crappy redux. The creepy stalker bridge is enough to make you want to poke your eyeballs out with a dildo. Make it stop.
F

Always Well this isn't fair, now, is it? I didn't include the greatest hits package in the retro so I never heard the original which was a bonus song. Maybe that's a good thing. Let's listen.
So, it's JBJ pouring his heart out to some women, declaring never ending love, kind of creepy in a covet they neighbor sort of way. It's harmless and pointless. Why am I doing this again??
Hang on a sec: THIS was JBJ's biggest selling single? What the how? Who is buying this stuff!!!!?
C

Grade D+
A Side: It's My Life
BlindSide: Bed of Roses
DownSide: Livin on a Prayer & You Give Love A Bad Name

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Bounce

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Bounce - 2002 (buy it)


Okay. So Bruce had The Rising.
Neil Young had his album about 9/11 (I'm not a Young fan so I have no idea what it's called)
And Bon Jovi, being from New Jersey, they have to weigh in as well.
Okie dokie. Let's listen to Bounce.

Brother in the Rubble? Sister in the Crush? Ouch. Oh, hey, the chorus is coming up, I bet it's a downe---One for Love? Hmm...
You know what? This opener isn't half bad. It's gritty, painful and, for the first time I have no idea who they sound like. It's almost that, after rendering himself anonymous on so many records that sound like someone else, JBJ and the gang have actually managed to sound, dare I say, important? At the very least they sound like Bon Jovi.

Let's keep listening.

Whoever songwriter Andreas Carlsson is he's having a very positive effect on the Bongiovi crew. This album is shaping up to be more about moving on and picking up the pieces than it is about feeling bad about ourselves. Of course, both of those sentiments are uniquely American ones, but the moving on is what I would expect from these guys. Life is just another record, tour, movie, tv show, American Idol appearance. You gotta keep pushing forward.
It should be noted that just about 5 songs in and it still isn't horrible. I've just read the Ehrlewine review on allmusic and I totally disagree.
When he says that Sambora's guitars "never lets the music breathe" he's wrong. This album is about not being able to, in a way. That's the point.
"this is a record where Bon Jovi seems to have consciously decided to avoid everything that gives their music character, melody, and muscle" Um...Steve, have you been listening to the same band I have? Character? Muscle? Sorry, pal. This album actually has some power and crunch and assertiveness that the bright sheen of pop on Crush was sorely lacking.
After a crappo ballad we're hit with a dustbowl grunge song called "Hook me up" which has Jon channeling his inner Josh Todd (buckcherry). It works. It doesn't suck, at least.
Does Bounce work as a post 9-11 catharsis. I don't know. Maybe. It is definitely the band's most accessible and appreciable record in a long while.

Quick Note: I just read that the final track "Open all Night" was written by Jon as response to his character being cut from Ally McBeal. It's not a vengeance song but, rather, his sentiments on how he wished his character had exited the show. I think that's kind of a neat idea. It's not a great song, but it's not that bad.
You could do worse than to listen to Bounce.

Grade B
A Side: Everyday
Blindside: Undivided & Bounce
Downside: All About Loving You & Right Side of Wrong. (Oh, that's just awful. Horrid. Turgid. Painful. Embarrassing. Make-it-stop!)

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Crush

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Crush - 2000 (buy it)

Oh, hey, Fountains of Wayne! Jon Bon Jovi is stealing your sound! Yeah. I know. At the time of Crush no on had really ever heard of you but on "Say it isn't so" it's pretty clear that they had heard Utopia Parkway and decided that power pop rock was still alive and that you guys were doing it best. Why not rip it?
What, you say? "It's My Life" sounds nothing like FoW? This is true. It kind of sounds like *NSync, dontcha think?
I don't understand Crush. I don't like it. But I don't hate it. (Sense a pattern??) Bon Jovi is harmless. When they stop recording they will have registered nary a blip on the historical soundscape of Rock and Roll. I'm sure of that. They have been coasting on one or two singles, good looks, a name and a memory of gigantic singles. I imagine that their fans just buy their stuff because they feel like they have to. Like BJ speaks a language they understand. In other words: rock that doesn't offend. Rock for the Jack FM listener. Boring, yes, but at least the listener gets to think they are listening to rock music. They aren't. They are listening to pap.
Oh, shit. I think I'm reaching nadir. I don't know how to find other words to describe this "music".
It's pointless.
Have you heard the hit single? You're good. Did you ever see the video? Where "Tommy" is on the phone with "Gina" and racing to meet her at a bon jovi concert? You didn't. Oh. It's shit. Like the rest of this record.
Screw it. This CD is hurting my ears.
***********
Okie doke.
I'm done with this. It took forever, by the way. It's freaking LONG. 60+ minutes AND there's a couple bonus tracks I got (which are better than most of the stuff on the rest of the cd.
That said. It isn't a hateful piece of loathsome trash. It's almost, but not quite.
Truth is, at this point Im just not sure why these guys make music, what inspires them or if anything does besides the paycheck and the sweet Heather Locklear/Denise Richards 'tang.

Personally I find it laughable that the band tried to "reinvent" themselves with an "edgier" look but, what the fuck, they're posers. And, oh, yes, how can i forget? Why is It's My Life the only likable song on this piece of drek? Because it was co-written by Max Martin, he of Britney Spears fame. The man could wipe his ass and find a pop hook in it.

Grade B-
A Side: It's My Life
Blindside: One Wild Night
Downside: Thank you for loving me. (Shut up, Jon)

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - (these days)

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - (these days) - 1995 (buy it)

Let's get a couple things out of the way:
This album sold over 10 million copies???? Where the hell was I? Does anyone know about this?
Also:
This might be one of my favorite Bon Jovi albums.
That's not really saying much, all things considered, I realize. However, when all is said and done, this is a really good record. It's interesting that Sambora and Bongiovi are credited as 2 of the main producers and it's the most earnest album in the catalogue. It's got edge, darkness and a little bit of heart.
It's overlong, of course, because why make a song 4 minutes when you can make it six? Why NOT fill up 63 minutes of plastic? I mean, it's there, right?
So, there was a break between the last album and (these days) (Parentheses, theirs. These parentheses are mine) and I can just imagine Jon and Richie sitting in the studio and listening to Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains and loving, just LOVING the sound. It's not that I think the guys are rip off artists. I really don't. I think they just listen to stuff and let what they like inform their music. (Okay, I do think there's a little eye on what's popular....) And the cover of the album (Yeah, Jim DeRogatis, I review album covers, fuck you with your last bastion of the lazy reviewer). Its got that purplish saturation, the band in the forefront but the background is as important and, oh yes, the name of the album is scribbled in faux hand writing. It's sooooooo 90s.
The songs...yeah, they're kind of generic but there is an epic sadness to this cd. It's got power. Some of it is elegiac, but not most of it, which is a nice change.
Here's the thing, though. When it's over, you have completely forgotten that you listened to it. I admit, a lot of Bon Jovi music is that way but this one especially. I couldn't tell you how any song goes and I just finished the album.

Hmmmm.

Grade B-

A Side: These Days (JBJ is doing his Springsteen again but, heck, I would like to learn to play this.)
Blindside: Hey God,
Downside: Lie to Me (A blechy ballady single that bores the crap out of the listener made worse by it's issue as a single.

Arte y Pico Award of Blogospherical excellence. Or Something.

One of my favorite blogs, Electronic Cerebrectomy, has seen fit to award me with the Arte Y Pico award. I don't know that means but I do know that Samurai Frog has been enjoying the Listening Posts and that makes me happy.
Do yourself a favor and check in on the doings at E.C. It's one of more interesting and fun slice of life/pop culture blogs I have read. Without the TMZ disgustingness.


The Bon Jovi Listening Post will continue, I promise. Still slogging through the mid-90s material. I WILL make it to the end. Then figure out who's next. Hint: It will NOT be Beck. I'm still feeling the Classic Rock. Might be a certain initialed band that really petered out on their last numeraled album. Or they wear a ton of makeup. Or they were honkin' on bobo recently......not sure.....

When auditioning meets geekdom

So, based on an article I read recently where an iPhone user kept scanned his boarding pass onto his phone and use it to get on a plane I decided I would test it out at auditions.

The new thing in casting for commercials is that we have all now filled out our "size cards" on a computer system. Size cards hold our vital information, weight, heigh, hair color, eye color, agency, contact info, etc.
So, we are encouraged to bring in the stupid little piece of paper with our bar code on it so it can be scanned and our vital info can be put directly onto our audition tape, etc. Saves time, saves paper.
However.
I always forget where I put the damned thing, or it gets lost in my wallet and I have to print a new one every time. It's annoying.

Until now.

"casting frontier" sent me a confirmation email with my bar code for my own use, to print, etc. I saved it as a pdf and stored it on a separate folder in my mail on my iPod Touch.



At the audition I took a chance and had the guy running session scan my ipod. It took an extra second or two but did it work?

You betcher ass it did.

Score one more for new technology.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Keep the Faith

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Keep The Faith - 1992 (Buy it)

Huh.
So, in the early 80s, when Power Pop was all the rage, Jon Bongiovi and his band sounded more like Rick Springfield than even Mr. Springfield would at times.
In the mid-80's the group experienced their biggest success by melding Bruce Springsteen-esque storytelling and sense of epic with Def Leppard's sound.
After a four year absence, where Jon was nominated for an Oscar for his most excellent Blaze of Glory single and the guys went off in different directions, JBJ and the crew got back in the studio, this time with Bruce Fairbairn protege, Bob Rock, and, I can only assume, listened to Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby way too many times.
Seriously. Keep The Faith is filled with rhythmic chk-chk-chking guitars and a sweeping sense of self=importance Christianity and, you know what? It almost works.
Why almost? Because it came, of course, during the early 90s, which means it's 20 minutes longer than it should ever be. This is partially accounted for by the inclusion of the 9+ minute "Dry County" a song which is almost NOT weighted down by it's own sense of anthemia.
Thing is, they just run out of ideas. They even have a song called "Blame it on the Love of Rock and Roll. I just don't buy it. I would rather it be called, "Blame it on the need to make a living the only way I know how that is the most fun and requires the least amount of work."
There's some tough stuff on this album. The title track. And, especially, I Believe are both keepers.
It's not nearly as bad as New Jersey and they band gets high marks for stepping outside of their hair-gel box. In fact, I think it's the second best album in their catalogue so far.
Not bad.

Grade C+
A Side: Keep the Faith
Blindside: I Believe
Downside: Bed of Roses. (The hookiness of the chorus doesn't make up for the hokeyness of the tune.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Jon Bongiovi's Blaze of Glory

A side trip on the Bon Jovi retrospective train....



Jon Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory single - 1990

I know so little about Jon Bon Jovi and his "music". It's all so generic. So derivative. I almost regret deciding to delve into the catalogue.
Fortunately I got to include this little gem from 18 years ago. It's not that I actually forgot about it, per se, it just never seems to get any airplay and the movie was so freaking bad that it came from.
Blaze of Glory takes the quasi-cowboy rock from Wanted: Dead or Alive from 4 years prior and builds on it. It's epic. Big. Sweeping. It does everything that is required of it.
It makes me wonder what Bon Jovi has in store for me as the next album doesn't come for 2 years after this single and that was 2 years after New Jersey.
In the meantime. Revisit this. It's a treat.

Grade A

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - New Jersey

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - New Jersey - 1988 (Buy it)

This was interesting to me. All the reviews I've read about this album have given it really high marks. Higher than Slippery. I don't agree. While Slippery When Wet is the embodiment of 80s glam faux metal, New Jersey is a different animal. Perfectly competent. Tuneful. Nothing inherently wrong with it.
Except....
Queen followed A Night at the Opera with A Day at the Races.
U2 followed Joshua Tree with Achtung Baby.
These albums built on the previous success without really tampering with the formula. It's a smart idea and tons of bands have done it.
Bon Jovi is one of those bands. The difference is that they don't build on anything. Maybe they aren't capable. Maybe it's a case of "give the people what they have decided they want. It worked. They sold a ton of this.
But.
There is nothing new explored here. No new ideas. Nothing fresh. Just "music inspired by Slippery When Wet", it could have been called.
The singles are boring. Everything is so freaking long....I get it, big chorus, modulation, move on, fer god's sake. Obviously, this bloat is a product of the CD age. We can put an HOUR on one disc?!? Let's do it!!!
And we all suffer.
Do you own Slippery When Wet? Then you have absolutely no reason to ever listen to this record.

Grade C-
A Side: Bad Medicine
Blindside: Homebound Train (It's a keeper. Put it on your ipod)
Downside: I'll Be There For You (Is it Whitesnake? Where's Tawny Kitaen??)

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet - 1986
(buy it)

Bruce Fairbairn. Need I say more? He worked with all of them: Loverboy. Van Halen. Poison. Jackyl. He is one of the architects of the 80s glam-metal sound. And he crafted this piece of time-capsuleness.
Slippery is more a product of great production and hiring the right guys than it is great songwriting or timeless poetry. Listen to Livin' on a Prayer. Listen to that modulation. It's a minor epic. Because it really isn't an epic, it's just a hopeful little song masquerading as something bigger.
John Mellencamp was writing about these people. Bruce was. Tons of artists were writing little stories about desperate people on the edge of society, who were just "livin' on a prayer". Why did this one make it? Why was this so huge? can it be the talk box? No, it's that Mutt Lange was right. He crafted some pop confection goodness with Def Leppard and, in the mid 80s, you couldn't go wrong copying that sound. Toss in a little Desmond Child to rewrite your mundane high school lyrics, put some money in hair gel and videos and, blam. Hit after hit.
I wish this was really just about those three monsters. But, Slippery When Wet actually is a cheeky, fun cruise. The horns on Social Disease (not to mention the disappointed chica at the top) give that tune an extra push.
Here's what I wanna know: Why do rockers from New Jersey fancy themselves cowboys? I lived in New Jersey. There are some lovely spots. Rural, even. I grew up in the great swamp. There were deer in our backyard. But, it's not cowboy country.
And yet, Wanted, Dead or Alive is a blast. This could be because it is the most fun song to play on drums on Rock Band (expert level, natch!) or it could be that its just a great tune.
I'm leaning toward the Rock Band theory.
Without a doubt I would have been embarrassed to own this when it came out. I could never wear my cuban heels, my beetle boots, my pirate blouses my leather, in public again. But 25 years later, no archive, no comprehensive collection of great albums would be complete without this, maybe the most representative album of the 80s glam rock era.

Grade A
A Side: Tommy and Gina, baby!
Blindside: Raise Your Hands & Wild in the Streets & Social Disease &......
Downside: None. This is almost perfect.

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - 7800 Farenheit

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - 7800 Farenheit - 1985 (Buy it)

Hey! Is that Motley Crue? Is it Def Leppard??? No, it's generic metal power pop gods Bon Jovi!
The opening track sounds like it the band sat down, listened to the radio, listened to High and Dry and Shout at the Devil and decided, hey we can do that! The result? Watered down rock that shoots a perfectly aimed bullet between the legs of teenage girls who, 20 years later, would probably have eschewed this for *NSync.
There is absolutely no change to the formula. Big, echoing snare drums, doubled (tripled) lead vocals, power chords, soaring leads, it's all here. And completely forgettable in a St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack kind of way.
I have a theory that Bon Jovi is to glam metal as Billy Joel is to classic rock. Harmless, hummable and sellable. I think I am doing Mr. Joel a disservice. Based on 7800 Farenheit, there's no there there.
It's frustrating and infuriating to listen to JB struggle to emulate Bruce on songs like "Silent Night". And that's probably why I was predisposed to hating Bongie from the get go. I'm a Jersey boy. The ONLY roots rocker from Jersey is Bruce. You can try, sure, to dethrone him, but don't steal his sound to do it. John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band have more credibility than this record.
There is aboslutely no reason, even if you are the biggest, most desperate, cry-when-you-look-at-his-poster-on-your wall, fan, that you need to ever listen to this album.

Grade D
A Side: In and Out of Love
Blindside: There are no surprises on this record.
Downside: Silent Night

Listening Post: Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi

Great things come from New Jersey. Frank Sinatra. The Boss. Me. And, of course, Jon Bongiovi.
I know nothing about Bon Jovi save the big super hits that catapulted him and his group to megastardom. Is there anything more to the once high-haired glam pop rock than just faux country anthem rock?
Let's find out.



Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi - 1984 (Buy it)

It's a little bit Bruce, a little bit Bay City Rollers/Hudson Brothers and a whole lot of Rick Springfield.
Pushed to make an album after the success of the contest winning single, Runaway, this is the first album of what would be Bon Jovi.
Taken as a single, Runaway is a really great Rick Springfield song. And I don't mean Working Class Dog Rick. I'm talking Wait for Night Rick. It's glammy, sparkly, edgy with the blades all dulled out to be inoffensive. All the way through are the shadows of Rick.
Of course, I'm not really surprised. One of the session men on part of this record is Tim Pierce of the big soaring power pop guitars on Rick's Love Somebody.
Where does Bon Jovi succeed Rick, then? I think it's the hair. Rick had the look but he was about to be passed by for glam metal. Rick had skinny ties and suits. Jon has Final Net.
Jon is posing as a Jersey boy hair metal god while really doing nothing more interesting or groundbreaking than power pop. The drums are a little more Arena ready but that's about it. Tico "double kick" Torres knows what the hell he's doing and even professor Roy Bittan shows up for a little side work for the kid from his homestate.
But it's mainly:
Hair, spandex and...hair.
That's not to say there isn't some good stuff here, it's just that guys like Rick were doing it better with better songs before this little kid whose cousin owned The Power Station.
I'm usually pretty lenient with first offerings and I won't break ranks here.
It isn't great. It's not bad. It doesn't really portend a career spanning a quarter century, though.
Confession: I tried to listen to this a few days ago and fell asleep around the 7th or 8th song in. When I woke up I thought, 'Yikes, this is a LONG track'. It was the 4th song on the next album. Needless to say, not all that much variety going on here. The reason I bring this up is that I am listening to it again and found myself forgetting that it was on. During the same freaking song, Burning for Love. It's gonna be a long week.


Grade B-
A Side: Runaway
Blindside: Get Ready & Come Back
Downside: Breakout & Burning for Love

Listening Post: AC/DC Stiff Upper Lip

AC/DC - Stiff Upper Lip - 2000

Done.
The last AC/DC album. I want to say that I gave it my full attention and that it was a treat and that there was a lot of great stuff, but it's just not true.
After the first song, the title track which is pretty good, it just all sounds the same. It all sounds like....like them.
The answer to the question of how much AC/DC is too much AC/DC has been answered. Talk about a guest that overstays its welcome. 25 years after they did their most interesting stuff and they still want us to buy their shit. At Wal-Mart, no less.
Truth is, Stiff Upper Lip is fine. It's no better than The Razor's Edge. Not as boring as Ballbreaker. Not as bad as those three horrible ones that came after For Those About to Rock.
I do miss Bon Scott. He was the soul of this group and I don't think they ever recovered.

Okay. Whew. I'm exhausted.

Grade C
A Side: Stiff Upper Lip
Blindside: Can't Stand Still
Down Side: Safe in New York City

listening Post: AC/DC Ballbreaker

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.




AC/DC - Ballbreaker - 1995 (buy it)

Rick Rubin. Who hasn't he worked with? Isn't Bruce Springsteen on a short list or something? I mean, really.
So, what does Rick bring to the AC/DC party? Nothing, really. Ballbreaker is just what I would hope and expect from the follow-up to return-to-form The Razor's Edge. It's blues-rock, great licks and lots of double entendre (and single entendre). I mean, "Hard as a Rock"? Subtlety is not in the Young brothers' vocabulary.
They don't reinvent the wheel here, in fact, I'm not sure anyone actually owns this besides true blue die hard fans. It's just a reason to say, "hey, we're still here and now we have a reason to tour, come see us and we'll play the stuff you love." Or something.
AllMusic says there isn't a bad song on the album and I would tend to agree but also add that there isn't a truly great song on it, either.
It will be another 5 years before AC/DC will put out their last effort (And, as of this writing, another 8 after that as they announced a new album for 2008 to only be sold at Wal-Mart).

Grade C
A Side: Ballbreaker
Blindside: Hard as a Rock
Downside: Hail Caeser

Listening Post: AC/DC The Razor's Edge

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.



AC/DC - The Razor's Edge - 1990 (buy it)

What the fuck is this???
The opening blistering guitar riff of Thunderstruck and the crystal clear production, the minimalist ball breaking rock sound is BACK!
I was so worried that I would have no reason to raise my fists in the air, make the devil horns, bang my head and then I get this. Should I worry that it's a laser tight opener and 35 minutes of filler? Not if the second track, "Fire your guns" is any indication. Could the time off malcolm took from the Blow Up Your Video tour to get over alcoholism have had anything to do with this? Surely, taking any songwriting chores out of Brian Johnson's hands has had some positive effect. This album is what AC/DC should have been doing the entire last decade.
Getting their music in the hands of a producer who knows what the hell he's doing, like the late Bruce Fairbairn does here, and clearly loves the band was a smart move.
The great journeyman drummer Chris Slade (ex gary Numan, Ex Asia, ex...everybody) performs on his only AC/DC album and it's a real kick in the ass for the boys to be playing with someone so obviously more talented than any previous rhythm section. Slade is in great form as are the Young brothers.
There's a fair share of filler and pablum and they run out steam somewhere near the end but nothing is reprehensible. All things considered this is a nice return to form.
Welcome back, boys.

Grade C+
A Side: Moneytalks & Thunderstruck
Blindside: Fire Your Guns & Rock Your Heart Out
Downside: Mistress for Christmas

Listening Post: AC/DC Blow Up Your Video

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.




AC/DC - Blow Up Your Video - 1988 (buy it)

Okay. I'm more than a little daunted here. After the last two albums, and knowing just how much is on it's way, I think the only thing I can do here is to LiveBlog the listening experience to this album.
Let's get some crap out of the way first. This album comes THREE years after Fly On the Wall. Which is the longest span between releases by the band. And, as of now it's 20 years old. It came out the year after GnR ripped off everything AC/DC had ever done and went through the stratosphere with Appetite.
So, let's start.
Okay, it's not so bad.. The sound is awful but that's sort of endemic of the era. Where everything was sort of squashed and quashed and flattened and melded into one wall of noise. if not for that they actually sound good. The band is tight and the songs, so far, aren't all that offensively screechy. I know this is the last time Brian Johnson will be allowed to write lyrics for the band, probably a good thing. But something like "That's the way I wanna rock n roll" could have been written in the old days. It's just that, by now, metal was all about Metallica and Pantera and the like and unless they get back to their roots, just who is this for?
It might actually be that someone asked Brian to try to sound a little more like Bon. And he kind of does when he gets out of the screech. But, holy crow it's dull.
Halfway through and I just think they've run out of ideas. No one's pushing them to discover anything and I am bored beyond tears......
One thing I have noticed about Malcolm Young in the 80s is his penchant for ripping of Pete Townshend. He really likes the Baba O'Reilly sound. It's very noticeable. Just sayin. Not all that original. Can I turn this off now? 2 more songs????? Okay.......
All right. The album was almost ALL filler. After the first two tracks it was a chore to say the least. (I deserve something in compensation for this shit, I tell ya) The final track "This Means War" actually shows a glimmer of the old AC and gives me a sparkle of hope for the next album....


Grade D+
A side: Heatseeker
Blindside: That's the Way I Wanna Rock N Roll & This Means War
Downside: Meanstreak

Listening Post: AC/DC Fly on the Wall

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.




AC/DC - Fly on the Wall - 1985 (buy it)

Oh, god. Make it stop.

If I sold 50+ million records and toured the world, was a millionaire many times over I would buy a big big house somewhere, open a restaurant, play video games, raise some kids, adopt some, maybe buy a boat and cruise the world.

These guys made "Fly on the Wall".

This is no longer AC/DC. This is the Brian Johnson Band. And he wants to be in Kiss. And not classic Kiss. He wants to be in "Lick it Up" era Kiss.

You have no reason to ever hear this record. Don't.

Grade D-
A Side: Shake Your Foundations
Blindside: Nothing. That was the only listenable track.
Downside: Danger. The worst song in the catalogue so far.

listening Post: AC/DC Flick of the Switch

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.



AC/DC - Flick of the Switch - 1983 (buy it)

From 1976 to 1981, in just five short years, AC/DC released 7 albums. They went from Bar Band extreme Bluesbreakers to Arena filling mega-supergroup. One of the founding members died. And they released the second biggest selling album of all time. Think about that. Think about the last 5 years of your life and put that into perspective. Five years. They deserved a break.
They took one.
Then they released their first album after that hiatus.

And it sucks.

With Mutt Lange off making his fortune with Def Leppard, AC/DC decided to try to emulate his magical production in studio and the result is a crappy, garbagy mess. The problem isn't just that they are so desperate to maintain that stadium sound, that's bad enough, the other problem is the new guy is kind of untalented. Johnson is now JUST a screamer, whatever melody he concocted on the two records previous must have been the creation or whipping of Lange because this is just short of screech-metal. it's just no fun. It might be if the lyrics were any good. They aren't. And nobody seems to care. Even the pencil sketch cover art feels unimportant.
There are some high points, of course, Landslide is a nice rocker, and Brain Shake should have come way earlier in the track listing, but this is just hard on the ears and hard to take.

Grade D+
A Side: Landslide
BlindSide: Bedlam in Belgium
Downside: Deep in the Hole

Listening Post: AC/DC For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.




AC/DC - For Those About To Rock (We Salute You) - 1981 (buy it)

Okay. How do you follow up the second biggest selling album of all time? One of the monsters of Rock? You try to copy the past and fail miserably.
This isn't really a carbon copy, it's more problematic than that. Brian Johnson is still in pretty good form here and the songs are somewhat acceptable but this isn't AC/DC. This is the Mutt Lange Production Project. Those big BIG drums and killer bass, that's not AC/DC. That's something else. That's.......Def Leppard. This is a Def Leppard album. And, if you strip away the production what you are left with is a bunch of guys who used to write barroom brawlers, then were thrust on the worldwide stage and giant stadiums and decided they had to write "ARENA ROCK" songs every time.
It doesn't work. It falls flat. The opener is still a great song, but after that, it's a downhill slide. Is there anything as bad, so far, as "Inject the Venom" or "Night of the Long Knives" in the band's repertoire? No. This is "Bandit" bad. (Bandit is a crappy metal band that Brian Johnson had a hand in years before. There's some magic here, "Snowballed" is tasty as is "Spellbound" and, perhaps, "Evil Walks". But nothing can redeem the unmitigated crapola that is the lyrics for "C.O.D."
That's just awful.

Grade C
A Side: For those About To Rock
Blindside: Snowballed
Downside: Inject the Venom

Listening Post: AC/DC Back in Black

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.




AC/DC - Back in Black - 1980 (Buy it)

This is actually a really interesting record. It’s not that it’s better than any that have come before, it’s not. It’s AS good as Let There Be Rock and Powerage (Maybe a little better than Highway) to be sure. But it’s way more accessible. Is it a bad thing to say that Bon Scott was the one thing that was holding the band back? Well, no, because they were already monster successes before Bon died, but, the alchemy of Young, Young and new addition Brian Johnson, combined with Bon’s death, the spectre of which is all over this album, Mutt Lange’s brilliant manipulations and the band’s acceptance of their place as an arena rock spectacle come together to push them over the edge. This is the second best selling album of all time. All time! That’s crazy. And great. Because it’s dynamite from start to finish. TNT, if you will.
One thing I noticed is that it’s much groovier than all the others that came before. It’s sexier, without the lasciviousness. Bon Scott was someone you wouldn’t let near your daughter. Hell, you might not let him near your son or your dog or your mail carrier. He was a scary, dirty motherfucker. Brian Johnson, whose voice is more in line with the epic metal sounds we have come to recognize (Bruce Dickinson, Rob Halford come to mind), he’s a bloke who you want to have a beer with. And, while your drinking, your sister might come in the bar and join you guys. And, before you know it, you’re so drunk that you didn’t notice Brian and your sister leave and when you stumble out to the car and you find him humping her against the wall you know what? You kind of think, what the fuck. He bought the beers, he’s an okay bloke and, well, she’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.
That’s what Brian Johnson brings to AC/DC and it’s THAT element that sells 42 million copies.
How many of those 42 million people do you think ever listened to side one? It’s side two where Back in Black and You Shook Me live. Side one is just great AC/DC, though. Shoot to Thrill? Great. Givin’ the Dog a Bone? Great. What do you do for money honey? Yeah, that’s great, too. Only “Let me Put My Love into You” is a disappointment, both musically and lyrically.
The other thing about this record that struck me is how it DOESN’T sound like Highway to Hell. Highway, as I said before, sounds like everything that is about to come after, all the hair metal bands. But Black doesn’t. It’s unique. It’s classic AC/DC while sounding nothing like any of their other albums. It holds up today, unlike most records released in 1980 and before. The singer is different. The songs are groovier and bigger. It’s different.
And there’s one more thing before we put this to bed:
Brian Johnson, on Back in Black, understands melody in a way that Bon Scott never could. I’m sorry to say that because the journey from Voltage to Highway has been great. Johnson just knows a melody line and how to sing it.
This record is just shy of perfect.

Grade A+
A Side: Duh. You Shook Me All Night Long & Back in Black
Blindside: Shoot to Thrill & Shake a Leg
Downside: Let Me Put My Love Into You

Listening Post: AC/DC Highway to Hell

They wrote one of the 10 greatest RAWK songs ever. The pretty much invented the fist pumping, devil horned, head banging arena rock sound. The lead guitarist is the star, in his outrageous schoolboy uniform but the real backbone is the Rhythm Guitarist. Without Malcolm there is no AC/DC. Just a lead singer and a cock of the walk screecher.
I have heard about a dozen or so songs, and, like everyone who grew up in the 70s, Back in Black was your graduation present.
But aside from the big tunes, what do I really know about the Aussie boys?
Let's find out.



AC/DC - Highway to Hell - 1980 (buy it)

Uh oh. What's that gigantic sound? Harmonies? Deeply expanded sonic tapestry? Why, it must be, yes, Mutt Lange!
Mr. Shania Twain! Crafter of the Def Leppard sound! The master has arrived just in time for the boys from Down Under to polish their talents to mass audience acceptance. (Incidentally, it should also be pointed out that Lange was The Boomtown Rats' producer on Boomtown Rats, Tonic for the Troops and one my favorite albums of all time, The Fine Art of Surfacing)
This is truly good stuff. And yet, strangely, it's not really any different from anything they have done in the past. It's really just "AC/DC". Everything you ever wanted from a blues-based, big riffed, cock-rock band, all neatly packaged on one album. In fact, the seeds of Leppard are in here on tracks like "Walk all over you", I believe. Although those lads were never this trenchant.
There's clunky junky stuff that is the genesis of glam rock that was about to come around the corner. I'm think about Touch Too Much which sounds a touch too much like Ratt will in just a few years. The more I think about it, I have to wonder just how many hair metal bands of the 80s picked up an axe and decided to be rock stars after they heard Highway to Hell? Everything that is Poison, Ratt, Motley Crue, Bulletboys and their ilk seems to have sprung from THIS record. That doesn't mean this is bad. Not by a long shot. The copies are just not as good as the original, that's all. And it seems that those bands took the big, anthemic cathedral of guitar sound and decided to forego the lead licks (I'm looking at YOU, Jet!) Too bad. But, maybe not.
Thing is, though, and this isn't the band's fault, but does "Get it Hot" sound familiar to anyone else? Like Leppard's Photograph? Now, that shouldn't reflect badly on the band, but I can't get it out of my head. I WANT to say, 'hey, it came first!' but, the latter song is better so it just dampens my experience. (I know it's not fair or right, but, fuck it, what can I do?) In fact, it's quite possible that the spectre of all that will spawn from this release haunts it and makes it difficult for me to appreciate it on it's own. Maybe if it was 1979 and I was hearing it for the first time that would be different but it's not. Its 29 years later and, sadly, there are no surprises on H2H. Not like the albums that came before.
Interestingly, the last song, Night Prowler, is so ominous and final and dirge-like that it's appropriately followed in their catalogue by the bells on "Hell's Bells".
Sadly.

Grade B+
A Side: Highway to Hell & Girls Got Rhythm
Blindside: Night Prowler. A heavy, dense and sad coda.
Downside: Love Hungry Man & Shot Down in Flames (Bon's just running out of ideas here and it's hard to believe that he has trouble getting laid at this point in his superstar rock band life. I don't buy it and the song sounds forced and fake)