Sparks - Whomp That Sucker
#347
By Timothy Sprague
Sparks
Whomp That Sucker
Genre: Sparks
Allen’s Rating: 3 out of 5
Tim’s Rating: 4.5/5
There are two things required in order to appreciate Sparks… One, a sense of humor. And two, a high tolerance for multi-tracked falsetto vocals. Now, before anyone starts making the usual Queen comparisons, let it be said that the first album by Halfnelson, re-released a year later under the new name Sparks, was released in 1971, while Queen’s first album did not hit record stores until 1973. Halfnelson/Sparks was produced by wunderkind Todd Rundgren and launched brothers Ron and Russell Mael to European stardom and relative obscurity in the US until New Wave came along and finally provided the kind of American audience that would enjoy their quirky sound and offbeat lyrics. One of those kids was me.
Whomp That Sucker starts out funny from the first time you lay eyes on the album cover. Older brother Ron has knocked out his pretty boy kid brother Russell in the boxing ring and stands with his arms raised in triumph. And both of them look like geeks. The album is a return to the guitar-driven glam sound that made them a hit in England and Europe in the 70s, after recording two synth-heavy albums produced by Giorgio Moroder that horrified some longtime fans and delighted a new generation of younger listeners. Tips For Teens comes first, with Sparks imparting their wisdom to “turn up the music and say you’re too sick to go to work.” This song epitomizes my discovery of New Wave music in 1981 as an impressionable 13-year-old. Somebody had it on a compilation album from the time and it sounded dirty because “tips” kind of sounds like “tits.” Funny Face comes next, another classic Sparks tune that is still making me laugh as I write this review and listen to the album. Russell sounds like he is doing a duet with himself while also providing the greek chorus backing vocals to a story about a man so handsome he can’t stand it and jumps off a bridge to injure his beautiful face on purpose. “I got my one request… I got my Funny Face.” The next track, Where’s My Girl, appears to be about a stalker tracking down his “girl.” Humorous but actually quite creepy when you pay close attention to the lyrics. “Where’s my girl… I’m calmer now… I want her now” Russell pleads. The dancey tempos and high energy arrangements continue with Upstairs, about what goes on between our ears, and I Married a Martian to close out side one. The latter is by far the most overtly silly song that Ron Mael has ever written in this reviewer’s estimation. Even if you have not heard the song, you get the idea. “I married a Martian, and boy am I sorry…”. To this day, it never ceases to bring a smile to my face.
On to side two and the chuckles continue with The Willys, also a rather silly tune. “We know whatcha got boy… they call it the Willyyyyyyyysss…”. If all this sounds like novelty music I won’t argue with you but so what? Novelty is one of my favorite qualities in life. And if you can dance to it, even better. Don’t Shoot Me is the next track and not really one of Sparks’ better efforts but does have some tasty low end synth riffs that are notable. Suzie Safety follows, also just kind of lighthearted filler but presents another humorous character from Ron Mael’s imagination who won’t stop nagging everybody to follow safety rules. Ron digs in to his love of Operetta style songwriting and obsession with icey European women once again on the next song, That’s Not Nastassia. (This one sounds exactly like it could have been on Halfnelson or their second album A Woofer In Tweeter’s Clothing.) Wacky Women closes out the album on a note of crazed abandon, celebrating all the crazy chicks in the world. It’s a great ride from start to finish.
One of the things I love about Sparks is that their style and lyrical content have been consistent for fifty years. You can mix songs from this album with all of their previous and subsequent work, including their 2020 release A Steady Drip Drip Drip, and it all sounds like one big long album. Ron and Russell create music about the same obsessions they had when they left Los Angeles in the late 60s to try their luck at being a rock band in England. The yearning to be admired by women, the insecurity, the dorkiness, the crazy characters, the zaniness, the intellectual references and the just overall goddamn joie de vivre persist through it all. Ronald Mael has written a catalog of songs that rivals (some, like me, might say eclipses) any of the great songwriting masters over the years, from Irving Berlin to Paul Simon to Woody Guthrie to Burt Bacharach to George M. Cohan to Weber & Rice, Gilbert & Sullivan, Lennon & McCartney or Rodgers & Hammerstein. I am probably being hyperbolic about The Beatles, but the man is prolific and we are better off as a society because of it. I don’t want to live in a world without Sparks.
No Listening Post review is complete without personal anecdotes so here are a couple of mine about Sparks. I have been lucky enough to see them multiple times in Los Angeles, usually the only American city where they have played in over 20 years. They tour in Europe but only play shows in their hometown rather than tour the rest of the US, except for the Two Hands One Mouth tour with no backing band in 2013. The first time they had played in the US since the 80s was at the Key Club on the Sunset Strip in November, 1998. (The club was previously Gazzarri’s of hair metal fame.) So, my ex-wife is a huuuuuuuuge Morrissey fan, ok? We walk into the club and who is standing right there by the entrance chatting with a friend but Moz himself! Of course, she starts hyperventilating and sweating profusely until she gathered herself at the bar for a minute. I encouraged her to get up the courage to say something to Morrissey and she sheepishly walked up and said, “It’s nice to meet you,” and he nodded obligingly. Morrissey is very open about the huge influence Sparks were for him. I notice it every time I hear him or The Smiths. On the way out, we also spotted Weird Al Yankovich! Obviously a huge Sparks fan, right? After the show, I brought my lp copies of Kimono My House and Angst In My Pants to the in-store appearance at the famous and now defunct Tower Records on Sunset. Ron was very congenial but Russell seemed bothered and just signed my records and scowled. One would think it would be the other way around, but no. Another time I saw them at the Fonda Theatre In Hollywood and The Music Geek from Beat the Geeks was in the audience, which also made perfect sense. Because geeks love Sparks! The live presentation of their musical The Seduction of Ingmar Bergman at the outdoor Ford Amphitheatre in 2011 was also especially rememberable.
Thanks for letting me review this album and thanks for reading.
https://open.spotify.com/album/3x0j7lxTq1i4VHMBXFg94B?si=cAHjSj1ZTVq75PDwHrp4uQ
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