Reviewed by Paul J Zickler
Released: 1981 BB Gabor Girls Of The Future Genre: New Wave Rating: 2.75 out of 5 Highlights: Othello Shake Simulated Groove BB Gabor seems like a nice fella. How ‘bout we listen to his album, Girls of the Future? Sounds like fun! 1 - Keep on Dreaming: How many times can we repeat the title of the song before adding any further lyrics? Answer: nine and a half. But here’s the kicker: that same nine and a half time repetition of the title will become the chorus of the song! Pretty ingenious! Also, hand claps. Lots of ‘em! I didn’t count how many, but pretty much every other beat for over three minutes. (It’s not a good song.) 2 - Little Thing: After a synthesizer on an unfortunate fake guitar setting plays the intro, we ease into a comfy, Dire Straits-like sound for a bit. Then there’s a Bryan Adams-like verse, only slower. Here’s the bridge: “Yeah yeah yeah yeah / Well well well well / Uh huh.” Here’s the second bridge: “Well well well well / Uh huh uh / Yeah yeah yeah yeah.” I’m sure Bryan was like, man, wish I’d thought of that. (Slightly better than #1, but still not a good song.) 3 - Fidgety Pete: That’s a promising title! “Fidgety Pete / He’s our hero / A very small man / Small plastic shoes / He’s way past the blues / He’s a midget / He’s a rebel / He gets into treble / But we share a lot just the same.” Imagine those lines (and many more!) sung in close harmony over a kind of galloping, kids show beat. “Fidgety Pete was a hero / His temperature’s dropped below zero / The inquest this evening / The coroner has been moving / He’s only human / He could be you man / Fidgety Pete as the blue man / Fidgety Pete / I repeat.” Repeat the last two lines several times. I’m not going to count them. (This is not a good song at all. Not at all. And it’s well over five minutes long! The fiddly synth solo goes on and on, and then those two lines repeat over and over. And over.) 4 - Girls of the Future: The title song is here! Surely things will get better now. Chunky little upbeat new wave beat with a hint of fake-Chinese guitar. Uh oh. “Girls of the future / Will be from the East / They’ll be imported / Trained to be obedient. / Girls of the future / Will be wrapped in cellophane / Sealed up in factories / Far in the Orient / Girls of the future / Perfect friends / It won’t be long / Before someone sends / The girls of the future / Perfect shapes / Perfect lovers / Perfect mates. / I’m a little bit scared / Of the girls of the future.” OK, I’m of two minds here. First, kinda racist, right? I mean, even for 1981. But then again, it could be social satire, maybe commenting on everything being imported from Asia? It’s almost catchy. I’m gonna give BB a pass here. (An OK song. Not a highlight, but not bad.) 5 - Othello: Whoa, Shakespeare reference? “There’s a fight going on inside Othello / A double standard here and there / It’s never black and white, Othello / She’s jealous and you’re hungry for a quick affair / Oh Othello.” Repeat last two words five times over a Steely Dan-like middle section. I actually kind of like this one, and not just because of the Shakespeare reference, which is a bit clumsy, honestly. I’m just enjoying how mellow and drifty the music is. (Maybe a highlight? I’ll have to re-listen at the end.) 6 - Jealous Girl: Pump it up! No seriously, the verse is the melody of EC’s Pump it Up, with a little vocal pitch flip for attitude at the end. “A slap and tickle true romantic” is one of the lyrics. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve cited Declan P. McManus as an influence on a record that came out in 1980 or 1981. Dude was powerful. (This is not a good song either.) 7 - Outsider: Promisingly moody intro. Vocals an octave apart, a la Squeeze. “He’s an outsider” repeated many times. Some interesting sounds burbling up from the synths. Reverby guitar lines panning left and right. The lyrics just describe some guy who’s apparently an outsider. (This has the potential to be a highlight. If only it was a compelling song rather than a bunch of interesting ideas wrapped around nothing.) 8 - Shake: “Shake!” Everybody’s yelling it! Someone’s playing floor toms and a cowbell! Now there’s a synth playing a jagged rhythm, very much not 4/4! Narrated verses that end with a calmly uttered “I got the shake.” Secret agent guitar playing a two note riff, then a very cool counterpoint melody! More yelling over more weird rhythms! The word “shake!” will be burned into my brain for the rest of the day! Modulating every four bars! Higher and higher! Crazy! (This is a good song. Where was this earlier in the album?) 9 - Simulated Groove: “This is a simulated groove / Would you like to have a dance? / I am moving in slow motion / Your movements are exact” in a computer alien voice. Wow, BB Gabor just got like seven levels more fun in two songs. It’s corny as hell, but it’s such a catchy slab of new wave soundtrack music I don’t mind at all. (This is a kooky little oddball song, and I dig it.) 10 - Turn, Table, Turn: Give BB credit for trying to hold onto the new wave pep while taking a stab at power pop. There is a neat little riff that comes between choruses and verses that I like. The rest of the song is derivative and underdeveloped. (This is not a good song, especially compared to the last three.) 11 - When You’re The Only One I Love In This World: Very generic early ‘80’s romantic pop song with lots of sounds you’ll recognize from all the other very generic early ‘80’s romantic pop songs. BB, you’re no Daryl Hall. But hey, maybe this sentiment is real, maybe you had a gal you really cared about and wrote her a song. “Why should I look for another / When you’re the only one I love in this world? / In this world / In this world / In this world / In this world.” Have I mentioned that BB likes repeating words and short phrases? He does. He does. He does. (This is not a terrible song, but it’s also not a good song.) Add it all up and you get… a mediocre album! Thanks for following along. You can find Othello and Simulated Groove on YouTube if you’re interested. For Shake, you’ll have to use the Internet Archive, where you can download the mp3, which I have just done, although I may live to regret it. (Ed. Note: you can hear the whole album on Internet Archive)
No comments:
Post a Comment