Monday, July 9, 2007

Rock critic, RIP

Credit where its due.
This is from http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com

I thought it was brilliant and knew I would never find it again. All credit goes to that author. But, he's dead on.


Rock Critic Dead, Aged c. 50

March 4, 2007... The Rock Critic has died, aged approximately 50, from irrelevance.

The Rock Critic's badly decomposed body was found online yesterday, hidden beneath layers of mp3s. Its exact time of death has not yet been established.



It was widely known that The Rock Critic had been hobbled in recent years by The Internet. "With the ever more widespread availability of music via the World Wide Web, writing about music has become superfluous," said one industry insider. "Anyone can listen to anything at any time and make their own judgements, free from any outside influence."

"Crit just lost the will to live," said close friend, The Record Collector, from a local hospital bed.

In its prime, The Rock Critic was revered for contextualizing popular music within society, and for acting as music listeners' first line of defense against record label PR. "The Rock Critic wasn't perfect," noted one historian. "I mean, they gave Exile on Main Street two thumbs up, didn't they? But, they dug Strangers from the Universe, too, no matter how uncool it must have been to do so."

The Rock Critic is survived by distant relative The MP3 Blogger who, typically, declined to comment.

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