Listening Post: U2 - No Line on the Horizon

The very first Listening Post finally concludes with a new one from the band that started it all.



U2 - No Line on the Horizon - 2009 (iTunes - Amazon)

I started the Listening Post because I realized that, while I knew all of U2's singles I didn't really know the band. And so it began. I listened to every record in order starting with Boy and ended with How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb.
Afterward I had so much fun with the concept that I continued. Other people have joined in the fun. And I don't forsee stopping at any point soon.
BUT
U2 put out a new album and what kind of completist would I be if I didn't include it here?
Here goes:

Imagine you are in a spacious apartment. It's a high rise above a metropolitan city. The carpet is grey, the furniture modern and black. The appointments are metallic and the windows are floor to ceiling.
Guests arrive but barely make small talk. The men are all dressed in fine linen and silk suits, the women are all in flowing haute couture.
The host snaps his fingers. Clothing is removed and the apartment is transformed into a hedonistic orgy.
Music comes on over the speakers.
It is U2's No Line on the Horizon.
When it is over everyone is finished copulating. They dress, barely acknowledging each other and everyone goes on their several ways.
That is about the emotional depth of this album and all it's good for.
I am sick and tired of hearing that it's the BEST U2 SINCE ACHTUNG BABY! It isn't the best U2 since Pop. In fact, I liked Pop better than this.
There are no songs here (save the title track and Get on Your Boots) and when given the chance to be grammatically correct, Bono takes the opportunity not to. (Hence the Get On, not Get your boots ON, feh.)
I hate this record and I am pretty sure that no on will ever listen to any song from it again after this year.
You don't need this record. No one does.
Blech.
Oh, and if you wanna really have a good orgy shag, put on Radiohead's Kid A. Trust me.

Grade D
A Side: No Line on the Horizon, Get on Your Boots
BlindSide: Nothing
DownSide: everything Else. Yes. Magnificent as well.