Her sister has been a role model for a couple of years now. Her mother has a book deal with a company that specializes in bibles to put out a book about her parenting. Babies are the current gotta-have accessory. Personally, I think I preferred when it was just little doggies that were doomed to the pound or a lifetime of neglect. Holy crap, people! When are you going to stop encouraging this!?!?! You think because they are on Nick or Disney that there is some sort of chaperoning or monitoring? Britney Spears is nuts. Jamie Spears is pregnant at 16. Hudgens is sending nude pics of herself over the internet. Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, Jessica, Ashley, (where are the fathers, by the way????) a legion of girls gone wild. Teenage girls are hopping from bed to bed on MTV. Sweet Sixteen extols the virtues of conspicuous consumption! The message if this kid isn't brought up on Statuatory rape charges? Not that the rich can get away with whatever they want. That's abstract. Kids won't get that. No. The message that little girls will get is, sex is okay with an older boy! And that's all well and good. But the kids that adore Jamie Lynn aren't 18. They aren't even 16. they are tweeners. her show is for TWEENERS. 12, 13, 14 year old girls who idolize her and will think, well, she did it, it must be okay. I sound like a prude but, come on. If there are statuatory rape laws that aren't enforced then, men, let's line up cause the cute one are just getting out of junior fucking high.
Holy shit. Put an end to this. Put an end to it right now. You know how?????? Start early. Get em while they're young. Get your head out of the gutter and pay attention.
Handbook for raising girls material:
DON'T infantilize them. Raise the bar. Raise their self-esteem. They won't look to boys for it.
Fathers: change fucking diapers! It smells bad? Boo the fuck hoo. Grow a pair. It's the best bonding you can do.
Be a role model. Boys learn how to treat girls by watching Dad treat mom. Girls learn how to BE treated by watching dad treat mom.
Teach your girls to be self sufficient. Teach them to defend themselves, think for themsleves, achieve, achieve, achieve.
Teach them to cook. For themselves. So they aren't reliant on a credit card when they get older and therefore looking for a man to pay down their debt. And then do something outstanding: Dads. Cook with your daughters so they don't get some fucked up idea of gender roles. (An entire nation of witless men out there who refuse to cook because it's "woman's work" but LOVE to talk about how all the best chefs in the world are men. Hypocritical fuckheads.)
Encourage excellence in schoolwork and DON'T even fucking go to KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION. What the fuck is that????? No medals for mediocrity. But no punishment for it either. We reward kids for doing nothing so they have no real sense of what a personal accomplishment is.
READ TO YOUR KIDS. Get them to read too. If they can read, maybe, just maybe you can give them a leg up on being smart.
NO NO NO NO NO Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. Stay the fuck away. It's evil, it just wants your money.
PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOUR KIDS WATCH. This isn't so hard. Have a conversation with them about what interests them. If a tv show is interesting to them, don't put them down for it, find out WHY they like it. You will learn so much about who your kid is and what makes her tick.
Sing to them. Be goofy. girls are going to be more verbal quicker than boys. Don't criticize that. Embrace it.
get them interested in art. Paintings, all kinds. Music, all kinds. Film, all kinds. (On that subject: Aladdin is a movie. Aladdin 2, the Return of Jafar is NOT a movie. It's a straight to dvd pair of hands in your pocket. Get it straight. There was no Cinderella 2 for fuck's sake!)
get a Facebook account, a MySpace account, an ipod, an apple account, an iphone, a blackberry, whatever the new tech is. Don't eschew new technology because you are a luddite or you are scared or you take comfort in the "I'm just old-fashioned" mindset. Your kids aren't going to bond with you, they are just going to think you are OLD. If you learn about these things, if you text and chat, you know what they're world is and you have an understanding of their vocabulary. Do it. Don't be stupid.
TALK. Talk to them. Just fucking talk to them. You HAVE TIME FOR THEM. If you don't, then why did you have them??????
Jesus christ. Someone put an end to this. Please. Stop the madness.
Every time I get into a conversation with a PC user about my Mac they give me shit. I know I'm a new convert and I speak and act like a drone but lemme nutshell what just happened and you tell me if you would have had the same experience with a PC.
So I need to buy an external Hard Drive for the MacBook because we are going out of town and I am taking it and I am scared shitless that something will happen and I will lose important data, pics, my novel, etc.
I talk to THREE different Mac Store Dudes and they each tell me that installing the EHD is simple. A no brainer. So I buy a LaCie 320 gig which I convince myself will be enough and, for good measure and because I am loving life today I buy Leopard as well as an educational program for ages 6 months to 2 years. Can't start her too early, y'know?
I get the thing home and I am immediately prompted to install the backup program that comes with it. Something called Retrospect. It's freaking gobbledy gook. Not only does it read and act like a Microsoft program but the tutorial doesn't jibe with what is happening on my screen. I want to pull my hair out. It's freaking Saturday night. I was so looking forward to backing up the drive, installing Leopard then using Time Machine and being all happy and shit.
So, I decide to take the bull by the horns and do what would be impossible with a PC. I call the store. The dude asks me three questions and, when I am just a wee bit confused, he says "hold on." He comes back. He needed to get on a macbook so he could walk me through the process. It's a simple drag and drop (it always is on a mac) "Toss the Retrospect." He says. "You don't need it."
5 seconds later I am backing up my hard drive.
Can YOU call the store and get that kind of help for a PC? I think not. I never could.
Thank you, Apple. I knew there was a reason I loved you.
I never thought the day would come. Or maybe, in light of the glut of available content I should have seen it coming but....
I have nothing left to watch.
I am looking at my netflix queue and I don't care. I look at the available titles and....I don't care. Wassup with that?
Seriously. I was a fucking film student.
Last night I was able to place a small guest star on Dirty Sexy Money with his comedy turn in a feature film from 1986. I know my film history.
And I am, well, I'm sort of done. I've been so disappointed by movies lately that I can't see myself sitting through another one and not hitting the fast forward button. And television shows too.....
But with the writers strike happening we are probably going to have to keep our netflix subscription going. But, and I mean this sincerely, why?
Oh, I'm just bitching but, truly.....I am out of things to watch that I give a crap about.
So, here's a great example of what the strike is all about. You can go to Hulu, choose this program to watch, sit through a 15 second comemrcial then watch it with 3 commercials for Axe or Saturn or something intersperesed throughout. You can not pause or fast forward through the ads. But there aren't that many of them. NBC/Fox get ad revenue. It isn't much now, it's just supporting the site. But it will grow. And the creators and actors should be compensated for their work. Love is all around....indeed.
It's overload. I am inundated. I don't know how much I can take before saturation bullies me either into submission or withdrawal.
Television.
It's everywhere. It's too much content.
Let me back up. I am beta testing Hulu. Me and, probably, millions of others. We're not special. I know that. But, truth be told, I wanted to see how the convergence, rather, this version of convergence might work. And, you know what? It isn't bad. I mean, I would actually watch the commercial breaks, because there's just one and it isn't long. But I am sure that no one is being adequately compensated for that but huzzah to the networks for making it impossible for me to fast forward through the ads. That's what DVRs should have been doing all along. Make it so you can't fast forward....or something....... Anyway, the trouble is....well, I'm gonna back up again.
A couple years ago I confided to a friend that, gosh darnit, 60gig of music is just way too much to have at my disposal. I could never settle on one song. I would fast forward incessantly, waiting for that perfect harmonic convergence of desirability and singability. It would never happen and by the time I would arrive at my destination I would have heard....nothing. Not one song in it's entirety. It's too much choice. To much power.
I don't think we want that much control over what entertains us. Too many quick options means we don't get caught up in anything. At least I don't. I find it hard to stick through a 5 page article in Time. If they don't wrap it up in 1000 words or so, I'm lost. Forget Harper's or The New Yorker. No patience. I found myself convinced that I could decipher what scenes in the interminably long and boring second season of Heroes were superfluous and fast forwarded accordingly. You know what? I was right. A 42 minute Heroes episode was over in less than 20 for me. Blammo.
I watch movies and tv shows on my ipod at the gym. A movie gets broken up into two or more workouts. It's piecemeal.
And I have too many options, as I said. Lemme give you an example: I have three televisions in my house. One in the living room that has a dual mode DVR and records mostly shows that Beth and I like to watch together. One in the kitchen that is just stuff I like to watch when I am cooking or writing or surfing. The bedroom television is almost too small to be watched and we don't really do that anyway. But the Tivo is connected to a wireless network adapter that can send the recorded programs to my macbook and can then be dispersed to my ipod for viewing at said gym. We are also subscribers to Netflix, to whom I am grateful for now I have seen all of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared and consider myself to have more than a passing understanding and knowledge of the works of one Judd Apatow. Three years after I sat next to him in a restaurant after I appeared with his wife in a show. And now there's Hulu.
It's just too much. At first I thought it was just that the quality cant keep up with the tech and availability but that's not true. As I write this I am 2/3 the way through the Hill Street Blues Pilot. I watched WKRP (which sucked for lack of licensed music). I saw the Arrested Development pilot. And the unaired Lost in Space pilot. But I never saw any of them in one sitting. It's all piecemeal. So none of them have an impact. They are all just noise. Clutter. Which makes me sad since I think that television far outweighs, pound for pound, film as a visual storytelling medium. The reasons are too numerous to mention. But I think I am right. There is qualitatively more resounding work in television that even 20 years hence still has resonance. The same can't be said of film. Pound for pound. And don't get me started on videogames. If there are only 7 basic stories told over and over since the greeks wrote them down, in the videogame world there are basically three and they don't even change except for graphics. They are a neat little pastime but they are as disposable as a used condom. Great to play with at the time, but when they are done you never want to see them again and no one really cares about your conquest.
Not so a great television show. That has impact. Chuckles the Clown? Swanee River? The Hospital in the mind of an autistic child? Edith's attempted rape? The Lost Pilot? "To serve man, it's a cookbook!". Dr. Who, Star Trek, Monty Python? Resonance.
But, it's too much. Too much choice. I can't sit still. I'm supposed to be writing a book. How can I write a book when I can't sit still long enough to read Time or even Everyday with Racheal Ray (don't judge, there are good recipes in there). I love to be told stories. Love it. It's something we as humans love and take to from the earliest of ages. And television is the great storyteller because the characters are the same but the scenarios change. We can hold onto the people and listen or watch them go through adventures. It's Peter Cottontail but to the nth degree.
It's like Italo Calvino said in "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler". (A book I have never finished but have talked about for 20 years) You go into a bookstore and the unread books on the shelf call out to you (I'm paraphrasing). There's not enough time to read them all. And you have to remind yourself what you came in for. And just buy that book.
Television is becoming like that. But when the day comes that it's all Hulu or something like that and the list of shows, the FUCKING LIST of shows, to watch is laid out in front of you, I dare you not to collapse under the weight of too much choice.
I don't think I'll be able to you. I might just have to go back to reading.
post script. for the sake of full disclosure, I must admit that, even though I used to read books like a crazy kid, in the dark, unde the covers when I was supposed to be asleep, those books were novelizations of episodes of Star Trek. That's right. When I was 8 I would READ my favorite television show and then watch it every night at 6 on WPIX. Spectre of the Gun being the only episode I read before I ever saw it. Okay, disclosure over.
The pilot from Lost In Space. Sans Dr. Smith. Brought to us by Hulu. Incidentally, I thought this would be a "clip" of the show. It's the whole damned thing. And Hulu encouraged the embed. Go figure. Enjoy. I will post more.
I'm being lazy here but I have just endured two of the worst movies I have ever seen and one of them is the biggest blockbuster of the summer. I hated Transformers (the other was the dreadful excrement Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer). But I couldn't put into words just how much I thought this movie was bad for our collective moviegoing soul. Fortunately, Bemis at http://cinevistaramascope.blogspot.com could and did and I have to put his closing paragraph here because it is dead on.
"It's hateful, materialistic crap, keeping the sales-pitch cynicism of the original cartoon minus the endearing kitsch. True, the writers try to bracket everything in wink-wink sarcasm, making this crap that knows it is crap. The effects are flawless but pointless, as Transformers is never remotely fun . Try to defend it as meant for kids and I'll ask you to recall the indefensible dreck we liked as kids; try to defend it as shut-your-brain-off fodder and I'll ask why I should shut my brain off; defend it at all and I'll remind you of the scene where a robot pisses on Barton Fink. The Number 23 and Vacancy are bad, but Transformers is actually dangerous, its massive success paving the way for another decade of Bay's Teutonic brand of anti-art. The biggest question, then, is who Michael Bay hates more - us or himself."
Truly. A robot pissing on Turturro. How much fucking money are they paying these guys these days?
This is the job that launched a career. Shot in 1988, the director was Lawrence Bridges, consequently the only commercial director that I have remained good friends with to this day. Note the editing style, Larry was the creator of the herky jerky cutting, copied by many after this spot ( and it's sequel the following year). It's been almost 20 years. I can't believe I am still doing this for a living. I have truly been blessed. Thanks, Lar.
1. The amount the writers are asking for does not come close to the amount that will be lost during this strike. It won't even come near that amount in 20 years.
2. The amount the writers are asking for does not equal the salary of a CEO.
3. The producers and studios WANT this strike. After a certain amount of time they can (and will) negate all contracts. Directors, writers, ADs, assistants. This strike represents a reboot for the studios. That will save them millions.
The studios will give the writers something for the Internet. They have to, they are not stupid. But they will save a lot of money by letting this action play itself out. everyone will be hired back. Perhaps at slightly lower wages and a lot of waste will be terminated.
But, the issue I take umbrage with is the sentiment that because of the strike the union is causing the layoffs of many below the line players. That's fine because it is, in a sense, true. What I have a problem with is that no one seems to ahve a problem when the networks cancel the shows rendering the same result.
Story: I have a friend who was on Drake and Josh. He had a good job. They ran for 4 years. Then they were cancelled and EVERYONE was unemployed. But, here's the thing: Drake and Josh didn't need to be cancelled. It's still the top show on cable. So, why end a popular show at it's height? because the target demographic is tweeners who are no longer interested in the show after they get past, say, 14. There is a new crop of 10 year olds every year for whom the show is new.
When Nick cancelled the show they laid off dozens of employees. No one bitches about that. And they should.
As it comes in I will try to put strike related info on this blog. I know, I'm not much of a diligent blogger, but less is more, right? Anywho, if you still read Septenary and you are a Daily Show viewer, you will enjoy this.
No Frills. Not links. No Pics. Nada. Just the overview on this fall's shows. Not the worst season of television, but most definitely NOT the best.
Here goes.
New shows I like enough to watch every week: Pushing Daisies. (Great acting. The chick is quirky and funny. There are musical numbers and built in tension every week, just because of the premise) Dirty Sexy Money. (Pilot was awesome. It is hit or miss. I have hopes for it. ) The Big Bang Theory (I know, I can't believe it either but I find myself chuckling. I can see it getting really tired.) Bionic Woman (But it is wearing out it's welcome. The lead is terrible. The premise is interesting. It will probably go away and we won't miss it) Samantha Who? (I enjoy this in that classic 60's wacky comedy with dumb premise way. Think The Girl With Something Extra or The Flying Nun)
Returning reality show that I am excited about: The Amazing Race (It's a perfect game. Perfectly presented. It deserves every award it wins)
Old Show I want to kick in the ass for wasting all that viewer currency: Heroes. (Hiro is in the past but nothing in the present is affected? Peter doesn't know his power....that's the same story as last year. The end of the world??? Sylar wants to obtain powers?????? Is it the first season already?)
Pilot I enjoyed but can't bring myself to watch any more episodes: Chuck (I am tired of Beta males and I don't want them saving the world anymore.) Reaper (More Beta males. Neat premise. But I just don't have the time to root for guys I have no respect for)
Shows I wish would gain their footing again because they have had great moments this season but are not, generally, up to par: How I Met Your Mother (This has all the makings of a classic. They are stuck with Robin in the cast and she is a 3rd wheel. Get rid of her and get back to the story) 30 Rock (Someone at NBC tampered with this fucker. You can just feel it. The jokes don't fly as fast or furious. It's like they told them "Slow down for your audience. They shouldn't have. It will kill the show)
Idiotic show I watch because the vanity card hooked me and I find myself laughing at least 3 times an episode: Two and a half men. (Truly. Record every episode and watch the title card. If that doesn't convince you that Chuck Lorre is funnier than the shows he creates, you are hopeless. After that, watch the shows. There are some funny bits in there.)
Programs that should embarrass the actors every time they cash the paycheck: Cavemen (Holy crap.) Carpoolers (Just crap) Back to You (Expensive crap) Are you Smarter than a 5th grader (Viewers should know better crap)
Shows I used to watch because my wife would watch them but now that I have a tv in the kitchen.....fuck that noise: House (Weird illness of the week meets crochety super doc. Got it) Grey's Anatomy (Hot people have problems, too. Got it) Medium (talking to ghosts can help you solve mysteries. Got it) Ghost Whisperer (Talking to Ghosts can help them get to the light. Got it. Love Hewitt? What's with the fake lashes and ugly sidekicks?) Numbers (Understanding Math can help you solve murder. Got it) Criminal Minds (I should watch this but I just can't. I. just. can't.) America's Next Top Model (America is filled with pretty vaginas. Got it.) Desperate Housewives (Is this still on? How is this still in the top ten?????)
Shows I should watch because I was on them but they hold no interest for me because I have the attention span of a flea: JourneyMan (My part was too small for me to watch the whole episode.) Private Practice (My part was originally in Grey's so I don't have to feel bad) CSI (My part was a few years ago and cut up weird) CSI NY (I was asked to come back and reprise my part but I couldn't)
Shows that I recognize as being good but I get the joke and it isn't as funny the 30th time as people want you to believe (or STOP MAKING HOUR LONG EPISODES OF HALF HOUR SHOWS!) The Office (One day, and that day WILL come, the world will realize that this show was nowhere near as funny as people think it is.)
Show I watch because I fully enjoy the Schadenfraude: Deal or No Deal (For god's sake, somebody explain math to these idiots. If you have 2 big numbers left and you MUST pick 2 or more cases, your game is over.)
Shows I am supposed to watch because everyone says it's good Friday Night Lights (Peter Berg. I hate Peter Berg. Long Story) Everybody Hates Chris (The PR would have you believe that this show is funny. Ha! THAT's funny!) Aliens in America ( I saw five minutes. It looked cute. I forgot it was on)
Shows I could give or take. In other words not as good as ice cream but better than brussel sprouts Survivor China (CHINA? Why not Survivor: Tupelo?) My Name is Earl (You know, it's funny when I see it. I don't mind it. But then again, I don't carea) Smallville (I only want to see him do super stuff. I hate 90% of the storylines) Ugly Betty (It's a good show. I just never seem to get around to it)
List of shows that I will never see and am glad to say that about: Gossip Girl NCIS The Singing Bee Bones The Unit Cane Kid Nation Phenomenon Life Viva Laughlin Vegas Supernatural Phenomenon Scrubs Without a Trace Men in Trees The Next Great American Band Moonlight Women's Murder Club CSI Miami Extreme makeover: Home Edition Cold Case Shark Dancing with the Stars Rules of Engagement (NO explanations necessary)
Okay, not a lot of time here, folks, but I must explain my selections over at splotch's site. (www.isplotchy.blogspot.com) the topic was gender, I chose men, here goes.
Paul Stanley by The Hellacopters. Seriously. What band names a song after Paul Stanley? A great band, that's who. And one who just announced they are dissolving after their next album. The Hellacopters will be the subject of my next edition of "The Mop" over at www.shuffleboil.com If you haven't been there already, shame on you. Come on by, we're doing some cool shit.
Pablo Picasso Visita Los Planetos de los Simios by Adam Ant. Pablo Picasso visits the Planet of the Apes? Adam must have been high. Oh, wait, he didn't do drugs. So, seriously, what the fuck? The song is as weird as it's title.
Jonathan by Nerf Herder. "Please god, don't let me end up like Jonathan Richman. Says it all right there. Nerf Herder always made me laugh and here they beat up on Indie's sensitive roving quirkmeister. Ha, always funny.
St. Jimmy the Prankster - Dean Gray. My late daughter's (www.lizzielulu.com) favorite band was Green Day. She wasn't too keen on the mashup from last year but, hey, she didn't quite get it yet. Dean Gray (get it? get it?) does such a great job of pointing out that all songs have been rewritten and art is repetetive and vital and all that stuff. This was available for one day on Dean Gray Tuesday last year. the album is one of the best mashups I have ever heard.
Vincent - Don Maclean. Because it is the greatest song ever written about an artist and his work. It succeeds on so many levels. It is touching and sad. It uses the canvas of the painting to illustrate the subject matter. It might be perfect. And no one dares cover it.
So very proud to be a part of this one. Please go over to Shuffleboil, subscribe and read the genius. Or is that genus? Brilliance, I mean. Oh, fuck it. I'm reviewing music over at a great new webzine. www.shuffleboil.com
A short while back I posed a question. Scroll down and you will find it. It's pretty simple. As a decade shifts out of infancy into maturity it seems that some band, group, someone releases an album that pretty much defines the decade. The Beatles did it with Sgt. Pepper. The Sex Pistols, etc etc. The main point of this was to find out: Is it coincidence that each of those albums were released in the 7th year of the decade? And, more importantly, what is the album that defines the oo's. I think we have our first candidate. And, even weirder, it's by a band that put out the last era defining piece of work: Radiohead. My "review" of In Rainbows can be seen at www.shuffleboil.com, an exciting new webzine I am proud to have been asked to be a part of. So, please, mark your calendars and check out the stuff there. Has there been more debate in the music industry than file sharing? Copyright? Price points? Has Radiohead really demolished the old model? I think they may have. Besides the fact that this album is among their best. It is also a massive statement. It may prove to be the most important album of the decade. Cool.
I finally discover radiohead just in time for them to change the very fabric of the music industry. News out of radioheadland: new album. $80 super disc/cd/vinyl/booklet/digital package. Sell through direct by the now labelless band or you can just purchase the digital download: price? Donation only.pay what you want. Cut out the label! No middle man. No "agent"!
Today I listened, I mean, really listened to Radiohead's OK Computer for the first time. Fine. Shut up. I've been busy. And snobby. And I even followed it up with Kid A and Liked that, if you can believe it. Maybe I've mellowed or perhaps it was that oatmeal with Vitamin MDMA I had for breakfast. Anywhoo, it got me thinking.
In 1967 The Beatles released one of the most important and ifluential albums of all time. You know it. You love it. This was the 40th anniversary of it. Yes, I speak of Sgt. Pepper.
Ten years later, in the fall of 1977, The Sex Pistols unleashed Never Mind the Bollocks and a paradigm shift from "classic rock" (read:corporate) to stripped down three chord aggro rock changed how we thought about music and fashion.
Ten years after that, after New Wave and Disco and synth pop and new romanticism, U2 put out the era defining album The Joshua Tree. I can't believe it's been 20 years. And I can't believe they are still making records. The Joshua Tree is still listenable today, as are most classic albums but it is definitely OF IT'S TIME.
Then, in 1997, Radiohead's OK Computer came out. I can imagine this being the theme song to just about every rave. With its devotion to ProTools and Cubase and it's slavish adoration of all things PRODUCED, the album seems to have held up really well. And, for me, it really helps to (here's that word again) define the time. Artists seemed to be less interested in following the dictatorial pattern of record labels and due to this and the explosion of the single song download, the reemergence of the one hit wonders appeared. Or, rather, artists that, in a different time, one absent of publicists, trl and 40000 music rags calling themselves magazines, would have only had one hit and been gone. Can you hear me, Sisco?
So, I ask you this:
What is the era defining album this year? Has the pattern been broken? Did I miss something? I am so hard pressed to believe that Justin Timberlake's Futurecrap/LoveDisco will be looked at 10 years from now as the seminal album of the decade. So, what is it? Someone? Anyone? And, if you are a blogger who reads this, could you ask your readers the same question? I'm dying to know.
Yeah, I couldn't fucking wait. You don't understand. I HAVE NO IPOD! My 60g photopod goes "sad Ipod" when the battery is EVEN SLIGHTLY low. I lost the teeny shuffle that someone gave me for working on their commercial last year (hey, Apple! What? You can't make it even smaller and easier to lose??) And, since my wife has a Nano I have been relegated to using her gum stick sized shuffle. Which sucks. And doesn't even work right. And has no space. And I don't wanna switch to the death star. And I can't be sure that iphone updates won't relock unlocked phones (even though T-Mobile is the iphone choice in germany! Fuck, why not here T-Mobile!?!?! I mean, TMo is a GERMAN COMPANY! The phone was offered to you first here....ugh....) So, I got the touch. Freaking great. Small glitches. The blacks are so black they almost seem negative. Have to watch on an angle. But, christ, what a big screen. So, not reason enough to return it. BUT Occaisionally when I am on the web and listening to music at the same time the music just.....stops. This is not good. Makes me think I have a dud. Gotta call apple. No matter. Freaking great ipod.
And the download feature from itunes???? Got a bunch of Danko Jones that I would ahve normally....um....looked for on blogs. So, Steve Jobs, you may have found the answer to combating piracy.
But, shouldn't this be the commercial? I mean, it's music. It's video. it's The Touch. And when you get one, you "got the touch!"
All this brouhaha about Britney.....allow Septenary to maintain perspective, please.
1963. Beatles "She Loves You" breaks the band stateside. Boys appear on Ed Sullivan. Phenomenon ensues. 1970. Beatles release "Let it Be". Then break up. In between there are amazing albums, mind altering drugs, advances in technology and production, the Summer of Love, the riots of '68, Woodstock and man lands on the moon.
1999. "...Baby one more time" is released. Britney's schoolgirl midriff is all over MTV. Phenomenon ensues. 2006. Britney's mind breaks up. In between boy bands come and go, twee comes, then goes, Indie Pop arrives, the White Stripes are the standard bearers for rock, George Bush starts a war and 3000 people die in the World Trade Center Bombings.
It's been 8 years since Brit's debut. Don't try to fuck with the laws of Septenary. You will lose every time.
Right now go to I, Splotchy for these as well as other great tunes. The theme was "What's in a Word". All submitted songs must contain ONE word and it could not be a name or proper noun of any kind. Nor could it be a made up word. Here is my selection (which can be downloaded at http://www.badongo.com/file/4250291
War - Edwin Starr. Are we still at war? Why are we allowing it to be called a war? Even in elementary school the peacenicks broke through the noise of pablum to interject the term "Police Action" into our prepubescent vocabulary. Whatever. This song is ALWAYS appropriate.
"War! (Good God) What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again!" I considered including Springsteen's brilliant and energetic live version, but Edwin Starr got it right in 70 and 37 years later.....here we are. He didn't write it, you know. I read somewhere that it was originally intended for The Temptations. Can't even imagine what that would have sounded like. This is how protest songs should sound; they should make you wanna shout but also have a nice dancy-jam feel. WAR! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker, War. Friend only to the undertaker.
RETRO VIDEO BONUS:
Stop! -Against Me!
Is it disco? Is it Punk? Did Electric Six have a collision with some drunk Joe Strummer wannabes? Yes, yes....and, well, sort of. First off, lemme say that I LOVE the new Against Me! album, New Wave. I love it the way I loved last year's The Body, The Blood and the Machine, by The Thermals. It is punk, but accessible (just how I like my punk, with milk!) but also has something to say and, well, it just feels different. In this case I almost wrote this song off as a catchy Pisco (or Dunk, take your pick) tune. Until I read the lyrics and realized what the dude is screaming about. Stop! Take some time to think! Figure out what's important to you. Stop! Take some time to think! Figure out what's important to you. Stop! Take some time to think! Figure out what's important to you. You gotta make a serious decision. All of our lives in waiting. All of our lives traded for their roses and applause. All of our lives dedicated to shoving it right back in their fucking face"
Against Me! is the latest in a long line of punk bands who get accused of "selling out" when they move to a bigger label in search of their dreams of coke whore groupies, limos and, yeah, enough coin to pay the fucking mortgage. Stop! isn't a call to anyone's arms, it's a call to Tom Gabel, singer and songwriter for AM! probably written at the edge of the bed one night, guitar in one hand and big-time record contract in the other. Sign it! Sign it! Sign it, Tom! Make your dreams come true! And, while you're at it, give it a little beat so we can dance to it. The more I listen to this album, the more I love it. It's relentless, simple yet, devastating in places. Ben Lee has already covered the entire CD as an acoustic offering on his site, and it's great, too. Social Distortion, your heir apparent has arrived.
NEW VIDEO BONUS: My favorite cut from the albums is also the first single: White People for Peace
Sly - The Cat Empire
Sly is the only track I like off the Cat Empire's album. I bought it BECAUSE of that single and, it's not "bad", I don't want my money back or anything, but there is nothing as fantastic, groovy, sparkling, super sexy as "Sly". Why, it's a pleasure to meet ya You look like one incredible creature Wanna treat you fine Let's dance and grind Get so funk inflicted It's a crime You're divine You're sublime And well ya blow my mind
Who hasn't felt that at some point in their lives? Who hasn't been at a club and met that girl who was just Miss perfect right now and didn't wish we could stomach the courage or even be able to pull of lines like this? And the tune is just ridiculously catchy. I defy you not to put this on your ipod, walk outside on a sunny day in the middle of a city, say, Toronto, where I did this, and not feel like you wanted to skip across the street.
VIDEO BONUS:
Oceans - Paper Sun
My wife's best friend took us to see Paper Sun a few years back. He was close with the lead singer, Sally Smithwicke. A beautiful woman with a brilliant ear and voice, Sally's songs were often overshadowed by the band's desire to be the next Dave Matthews band. Their mistake, since she was always the genius. She and the lead singer finally divorced and she is off somewhere, hopefully making great music. "Oceans" is one of those "songs from the sky" as my friend and former TBS rhythm guitarist/current lead guitar for The Honeysuckle Jones revivial, David used to say. "Songs from the Sky" are eloquent pieces of perfection that seem to just appear. This songs feels like that to me. It's simple. It's a little outdated, probably would have made a better impression in the post grunge world ruled by Meredith Brooks and Paula Cole. But with lines that are open wounds like "You can throw me in the ocean and I will sink right to the bottom and make a better anchor to keep the boats at bay" I feel like the tune is timeless.
Happy - Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
Jenny Lewis, the siren of Indie darlings Rilo Kiley, split off from them last year to make a solo record with country duo The Watson Twins. Every song on that cd is infinitely better than 80% of Rilo Kiley's previous stuff and 100% better than this year's Under The Blacklight, RK's attempt to sell out, sell big and be the next Fleetwood Mac. None of them were up to that task but on Rabbit Fur Coat Jenny made some of the most poignant and delicately disturbing music I had heard in a while. And it was Country. "Happy" is the least happy song about one of the most pleasant states of mind. It's like it fell off the David Lynch soundtrack truck and some hot indie child actress in Silverlake picked it up. "They warn you about killers and thieves in the night, I worry about cancer and living right, but my momma never warned me about my own destructive appetite." Creepy. And poignant.
VIDEO BONUS: The remarkable "Rise up with Fists" video. Jenny's strangled melodies shine here with such alacrity. (Did I just say that?) And Sarah Silverman!
Fuel - Ani Difranco
When I was a music reviewer in the mid 90s I used to get packages every other day. Glorious packages filled with cds from all the majors and LOTS of minors. I preferred the minors. It was a national magazine and I wanted to help the little guys get as much exposure as I could. One day "Out of Range" by Ani Difranco landed on my doorstep and after one listen, I was hooked. Nobody could touch the DIY folkie darling. She bristled and I swooned. I followed her for about 4 more albums until every song started to sound the same. Then I lost interest. This cut is not from that album, but, rather, from my other favorite Ani CD, "Little Plastic Castle". Not as cohesive as OoR, LPC is still great. And it has Fuel on it and Fuel has the line "People used to make records as in a record of an event. the event of people playing music in a room. Now everything is cross marketing, it's about sunglasses or shoes, or guns and drugs....you choose." Fuck, yeah, Ani. Fuck yeah.
Boring - The Pierces
"Sexy boy. Girl On Girl. Menage a trois. Boring."
I don't know much about the Pierces. They're sisters, I think. I dig them in a way that i don't dig Tegan and Sara. They're darker. Meaner. But they sound like you would expect them to sell out, go electro pop and sell a million records. They remind me a little of The Murmurs (remember them? You Suck? Great fucking tune)But they aren't as folky-annoying. I have enjoyed every song on "Thirteen tales of Love and Revenge", so far. I bought it at Amoeba the same day as Against Me! to offset the testosteronie. It ain't bad. The Pierces hit the style and (lack of) substance of their characters in this song. They sing it so blase and lazily I expect them to be dressed in couture bikinis, smoking reds by the pool at The Standard. They get it. They understand. Paris? Nicole? Every fucking diva/ingenue? Waste of space. This song rings so true it's almost nauseating. Nauseatingly good, that is!
VIDEO BONUS:
Envious - The Hellacopters
I'm on a chick kick right now. But, that doesn't mean there isn't room for some good, old-fashioned, classic cock rock, right? In the book "Sonic Cool: the Life and Death of Rock and Roll" which I recommend for the last two chapters only, Author Joel Harrington name drops a LOT of bands, many of which I had never heard of at the time. Like Anti-Seen. And Gluecifer. And The Hellacopters. The Hellacopters are an offshoot of the Swedish metal band, Entombed, but the drummer and creator of The Hellacopters, Nicke Andersson, took it upon himself to resurrect the casket of 70's classic rock. The kind of kickass rock and roll made by Skynrd and Molly Hatchet and Springsteen. I bought Supershitty to the Max and the liner notes castigated me for not caring enough about music because I bought it on compact disc. If I REALLY cared about the high and low ends, about the depth and breadth of the music I would have bought it on vinyl. So, in an act of defiance I bought High Visibility on vinyl. And, dammit, what a fucking treat! It was the last "new" record I bought on vinyl, sadly. And I bought it 2003. Blazing Piano, lead guitar licks from the school of rock Envious drives. That teeny bridge that drops into that lead solo....you just wanna air guitar to these guys. And then see them live. Because you KNOW they bring the rock.
Enjoy the tunes. And thanks for stopping by Septenary. Please come back often and leave your specimen in the comments drawer.
For your pleasure here's the lyrics to the whole Hellcopters song: Out of time out of tune Born sucking on a silver spoon Trying hard for the best You don't come close but I can stand the test Here's a hint here's a clue I'm the wolf in the movie 'bout you So pull a knife but I stand on it's edge l'm the allegiance the one that you pledge
You wanna rise to the occation But there's nothing to prove You'll be two steps back While I'm on the move And it makes you feel
Envious - You can try but you won't nail it down Envious - You turn it up but it don't make no sound Envious - It's good looking at the first glance But you' re so envious - And you don't stand a chance
You got the axe but I got the licks I´ve got the drugs but baby you've got the ticks You're a word not worthy a mention I'm the teacher and you've got detention
You wanna rise to the occation But there's nothing to prove You'll be two steps back While I'm on the move And it makes you feel
Envious - You can try but you won't nail it down Envious - You turn it up but it don't make no sound Envious - It's good looking at the first glance But you' re so envious - And you don't stand a chance
You pale in comparison But what can you do I admit it I look better beside you
You will cry as I laugh You're a boy and l'm a man a half You'll always be the ugly nothing and I the sweet real I feel no pity but I know how you feel
You wanna rise to the occasion But there's nothing to prove You'll be two steps back While I'm on the move And it makes you feel
Envious - You can try but you won't nail it down Envious - You turn it up but it don't make no sound Envious - It's good looking at the first glance But you' re so envious - And you don't stand a chance
HIDDEN TRACK VIDEO BONUS: "No Song Unheard". When I heard this for the first time I thought, wow, these guys were listening to a LOT of Springsteen and, strangely enough, Joe Jackson. Do YOU hear it? I do. I love it.
No, it's not a colorful poolside umbrella drink, though it seems like it might be tasty and have a little kick. It's the virtual mixtape over at I, Splotchy. Because I raised my hand afore many others who wished to be a part of it, you all get to bear witness to some super cool DJ Blogging. As The Hold Steady once said, "Most People are DJ's". Come on, you fancy yourself something a music programmer, don't you? Didn't you make a mix tape for someone back in the day? Didn't well all think that we were better program directors than the idiots at WDHA, WPLJ, KROQ, INDIE 103 or the like? Isn't that why we loved college radio when we were coming up? The promise of the freedom to foist one's personal musical taste on the hapless listener? Changing someone's mind away from Styx and Foreigner and showing him or her that REM was really where it was at. Or Replicas was genius. You get the idea. Splotchy has had something of an epiphany. It's brilliant. Create a theme. Invite four others to submit a selection of songs to convey that theme. Host the tunes. Then allow Splotchers to download. All the while sending traffic to the contributor's site so they may explain their selections. Awesome! Stay tuned because as soon as it goes up, so will my explanatory post, because there is nothing a musicologist enjoys more than explaining why he chose the tunes in the first place. (There. I have now employed variations of the word 'explain' three times in two sentences. Me write good.
It was mid 1988. I was 9 months into my new life in los Angeles and about 6 months away from retreat back to the east coast. My apartment was a shared basement piece of ugly in West Hollywood, near the corner of Holloway and Sunset. I was a 30 second walk from one of my jobs at Book Soup. I was reminded of this as it was the store where David Duchovny's character held a reading in my favorite new show, Californication. It was also about a 10 minute walk from my other job, working the box office at The Tiffany Theater on Sunset, across the street from the strip mall where I was punched in the head by a homeless man when I turned down his request for a cigarette. One of the actresses working on "How the Other Half Loves" and her husband and I had struck up a friendship. They were so excited for me because I had just gotten my first commercial agent and their best friend, Bryce, had bought a town house rental in New York with his commercial money. Kristin was a niece of movie royalty and totally unaffected by her lineage and her husband was a keyboardist who played keytar in a rock band in the valley. A bear of a man, he had dreams of scoring movies. Driving down Sunset after dinner at Hamburger Hamlet, Kristin, her husband whose name escapes me at the moment, and I were headed back to the theater. She was understudying Yeardley Smith and i was working the box office. On the CD player 10,000 Maniacs, "In My Tribe" was playing. Specifically, "What's the Matter Here". I quoted my roommate to Kris and hubby: "Her (Natalie Merchant's) voice is like an instrument all its own". My roomie was right and we all agreed, there was something ridiculous about Merchant's voice. It was strong but comforting. And dead on. In My Tribe was one of the soundtracks of that summer. It had just the right amount of jangle and pop, rock and aor. It was a summery treat with devastatingly wrenching stories in some of the songs. "Gun Shy", a reckoning between singer and her army-issue brother. "What's the Matter Here" was the Luka for the Indie set, the singer trying all her might not to get involved with a father that abuses his son. the cover of "peace Train" harkening whistfully back to a time of protest songs when protest songs were just coming back to vogue. Or the wannabe boho who sings "Hey, Jack Kerouac." I always thought that the Maniacs were too clean for their subject matter. They wanted to be Bukowski but were just unable to shed the happy. It's impossible not to sing along with this album. Impossible to forget the time it was created. A few years before grunge, when adult music ruled the waves. The post New Wave time that included Paul Simon's Graceland and XTC's Skylarking and REM's Life's Rich pageant all suggested that the kids had grown up and we were about to become adults. That sentiment was crushed of course. It had to be. Every musical trend is crushed by the next. In the meantime, I dusted this CD off and ripped it back to my computer. I never did that before because I assumed I had heard it enough and was done with it. It was great to rediscover. The music and the time. When it came out, the "summer of love" was just about as old as this album is now. Seems like yesterday.
Another hotel room. Back in Vancouver this time. Itunes has chosen "Seperate Ways" by Journey and that seems appropriate. Not lonely, not really bored, I've culled enough watching and reading material for the trip. Trust me, 4 hours of Kevin Smith monologuing is more than enough. Beth just sent a bunch of pics that I will deposit on this page. Pics she took of Zoe on the porch. That's their thing; the porch. They love it. It's their time. Me, I haven't spent more than 5 minutes in the front portion of the house since the kitchen (read:my room) was completed. Beth and I were chatting when she had to go put Zo down for the night. It's not the first time that I haven't been there for the ritual but it cuts this time, for some reason. I often get melancholy when I travel. Because I do it so often and I do it alone. Vancouver is a great city, but I've been here more times than any other city I didn't reside in now and I've seen it. I've been there. And 90 minutes on an immigration line will harsh any travel excitement.
Billy Squier's Rock Me Tonite. I think that's why Billy imploded. Dude. It's toNIGHT. Sheesh.
I was recognized again. This time it was two women at the work permit cashier station. It wasn't a good recognition, though. It was the kind that middling tv stars must experience. When two strangers turn their backs to you, whisper and shoot glances over sunglasses your way. I know that look. I've DONE that look. It's a lonely feeling, I'll tell you. I wished I could crawl into my motorcycle jacket and wrap my shades to cover my entire face. Or better, I wished that the damned cashier would open another window and let me go on my way. Oh, yeah, the pictures. So, Beth sent these shots of Zo and I just got done adding them to a folder and had a good look.
Someday, Someway by Marshall Crenshaw. Did this ever feel fresh? It's like 1962 revisited. Ah, the ironic 80's. Tongue in cheek nostalgia was so hip back then. Now it just seems like style-apeing.
Okay, Zoe. Yeah. I've been feeling more and more tonight (tonite) like Zo saved my life. Not in the way that the doctors saved my life 10 years and 7 years ago. Not like Liz saved my life when she was alive and then at death. Not the way Beth did when she attached her clasp to my weird, world traveled chain. In a totally different way. And I should be able to describe it but I don't know that I have the patience to search for the words.
Julianne by Ben Folds. I should like Ben Folds more than I do. He's snarky and sardonic. But, you know what? He's too accomplished. His craftmanship outweighs his cheekiness.
Zoe saved my life. Not saved, really. Because i wasn't dying. And she sure didn't replace Liz. No one could and that wasn't why we had her. My life has been imbued with a new sense of.....not purpose....not responsibility.....no....what's the word.....?
Mean to me - Crowded House. I loved that album. Reminds me of the year I moved to Los Angeles. I've been told that all the later Crowded House work is better but I've never dabbled. For me it was sublime. Enough that I didn't want anything else to supplant it's greatness.
The word. Fun. Peculiar. You know? Children are the great magnifier. I believe. When someone you know has a child their true self comes through as though blown up to movie poster size. If they were a little neurotic they are Annie Hall. If they were cold, they are an iceberg. I think kids are the truest and surest way to determine what kind of person one truly is. In Beth I have seen kindness and generosity exploded to proportions equaling that of a charity worker. In me.....I have no idea. I know that I am even more aware of my mortality. But, that's nothing new and I'm no more of a fatalist than I was before. I'm sure someone out there can better describe my magnification. For me, it's all about fun.
Do the Necronomicon from Evil Dead the Musical. Damn that show was fun. Derivative as hell. Not an original moment in it. It was probably more fun to say I saw and talk about than it was to see. No, wait, strike that, reverse it. It was more fun to see and, afterwards, talking about it made it seem better than it was. But it was fun.
And that's what having Zoe around is like. It's just fun. Fun to watch her watching herself on the computer. Or straining to see the tv when I won't let her, even though she knows that the TiVo remote makes the magic box show it's pretty colors and sounds. It's fun to kiss her tummy and watch her smile even though it's tickling and that's a form of torture, isn't it? When i put her to sleep I love to talk to her. The other night I spent 20 minutes feeding her and telling her about all the places I have lived since I was two. 22 places. Shit, that's a lot.
Round Here - Counting Crows. I always forget until i hear this song that I think it might be the most beautiful I've heard. And when it's over I've forgotten about it again.
22 places. from my parent's first apartments to New York, to LA to the desert, to this place we live in now. Our home. And it feels like home. And I'm beginning to think that there isn't any reason Zoe's room couldn't ever contain bunk beds, y'know?
All the bloggie kids are doin it, so..... Fave albums in alpha order. In this case, just what is on constant rotation on my ipod.
A- Green Day's American Idiot Green Day restores rock as the sound of the day, a few hundred boybanders in matching sunglasses and t-shirts descend into reality show hell.
B- Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band's Born to Run While The Thermals' The Body, the Blood and The Machine and The Hold Steady's Boys and Girls in America made a strong stab at this slot, the was THE album of the decade. Destined for time capsules, I'm sure.
C- The Fratellis' Costello Music Too much happiness on one record.
D- Queen's A Day at the races This is the truly great Queen album. Always in the shadow of Night at the Opera, vastly better.
E. Squeeze's East Side Story A friend of mine's friend once said that I embodied the song "In Quintessence". It was probably an insult, but I loved having a song that described me. It's perfect. Though I could do without "Woman's World".
F- The Boomtown Rats' The Fine Art of Surfacing Working class rock masquerading as new wave. Haven't heard it in a while? Go get it. Much more than "I Don't Like Mondays"
(Runner up: Roger Taylor's Fun in Space - Superfun ego weirdness)
(Double Runner Up: Martin Briley's Fear of the Unknown. Best unknown power pop album by a future songwriter for NSync)
G- The Knack's Get the Knack In the world of great debuts, this is one of the greatest.
H- The Hellacopters' High Visibility When it looked like Rock was dead, a bunch of Swedish groups were doing their best to keep it alive. The last new album I ever bought on Vinyl. In 2002!
I- Public Enemy's It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold us Back The manifesto of Rap. Timeless and of it's time. Genius. Woe is us what hath come in its wake. And woe to you, flavor flav!
J- Queen - Jazz No chance there wouldn't be more than one Queen album on this list. With every misfire there was a Dead on time, Bicycle Race, Fat Bottomed Girls and Don't Stop me Now.
Runner up: Nick Lowe's Jesus of Cool. He's cool. He's the Jesus of cool. And he may be the greatest single songwriter that side of the pond. Is he the british Randy Newman? Yeah, prolly.
K- Adam and the Ants' Kings of the Wild Frontier Best. New Wave. Album. Ever.
L- Joe Jackson's Look Sharp This list is decidedly latter day 70's. Alas, that was the time of my musical life. But, this is hard to argue with. Perfect pop rock confection.
Runner up Mika's Life in Cartoon Motion What a hit this would have been 30 years ago. As it is, it just makes us happy all the time it's on.
M- Royal Crown Revue's Mugzy's Move I was at Hear Music (Before Starbucks descended) and this was staff recommended. I bought it. Then I ahd a heart attack. I think I listened to it every single day fo recovery. Then I promptly learned how to swing dance. Saved my life, it did. Truly an honor when Scott Steen, the trumpet player for RCR came to see my band.
N- The Kleptones' Night at the Hip Hopera Mashups can be really tricky. This one was released about 2 or 3 years ago. 20 or so cuts of Queen music with rap lyrics mashed on top. Unbelievably great.
Runner up: The Vapors' New Clear Days. It's much much more than that one Japanese tune.
O- Ani Difranco's Out of Range Out of the DIY 90's emerged Ani. I was one of the earliest tubthumpers for this cd when I was reviewing for Home Theater Tech magazine. "Just the thought of our bed makes me crumble like the plaster where you punched the wall beside my head." Who writes lyrics like that? Brilliant!
P- Weezer's Pinkerton I bought the story that this follow up sucked. Then I bought it. 7 years later. Blew my mind. easily the best in Weezer's ouvre. And enough to make one go out and buy Rentals cds, since it was Matt Sharp's influence on this record that forced his ouster from Weezer.
Q- Queen's Queen II Holy crap, that's a lot of Queen on my ipod. This is one of the great unheralded albums of the 70's.
R- Jenny Lewis Rabbit Fur Coat Damn you, Jenny Lewis! I don't want to like country! Fuck, this is tasty stuff. Too bad the new Rilo Kiley is pretty crappy.
S- Everclear's So Much for the Afterglow Art Alexakis may write the same song over and over again, but on this one he got it right every single time.
T- Throttle Back, Sparky He he he.....What can I say?
U- The Libertines' Up the Bracket The Libs wrote some great songs. They always sounded like they were about to fall apart and implode. They did. But not before they put out two great albums.
V- Violent Femmes Recently voted by a bunch of musicians that I know as the definitive album of the 80's. I have to agree. I think the influence is far reaching into Indie. It's really the godfather of that movement. Plus, it has the distinction of being the first album to go gold while never charting once. Go College Radio!
W- Rick Springfield's Working Class Dog I know, I know. I was a Rick hater too. Then I bought this on vinyl for my wife. I played it one day and couldn't believe what I was hearing. It's crisp. It's sharp. It's smart. It's POWER POP defined.
X- X's Wild Gift Fuck you, letter X. I played this album so much when it came out you could hear the other side coming through.
Y-Public Enemy's Yo! Bum Rush the Show The only "y" album I own. So what, you know? This is street Rap at it's best.
Z- Cherry Poppin Daddies' Zoot Suit Riot I can't stand any of their ska music, but I love their swing. Go figure. This is one great tossback to an amazing era.
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